Umm...

I was just about to do an update with those pictures from PS14 on Thursday night (where I got "bodypainted") when I realized that I haven't slept in about 40 hours. So I stopped, and said I'll do this tomorrow. Check and follow me on my Twitter meanwhile for more sporadic random updates on what I'm doing throughout the day. I often update from my phone in the car or when I'm getting my pedi and I'm bored. I'm funny, promise.

Because I don't want to seem like a complete tease with these pictures I've been promising, here's a picture of me getting graffiti'd up by Gustavo from the back:

Click it for the larger version.

Frontal pictures tomorrow!!!! WOOO!!

And now I'm thinking that I'm still slightly out of my mind because I'm writing a post about deciding to not write a post because I need to go to sleep before I die. Look at me, still rambling on and on about shit you don't particularly care about!

So I will now go to sleep without really having much sense of what time it is and pretend to be a normal human being.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep?

TGIS! The Week In Review..

So while I wait for what seems like forever for the pictures from last night's Murk'd party "The Big Sleep" at PS14, here's the week in review. 

I'll throw some pictures at you from this past Monday's Exposure party which just so happened to be a panty party AND Krystle's birthday as well. I anticipated only a couple girls showing up in underwear, but hell, it got super-packed, super-fast. A birthday platter of cookies and brownies adorned the corner of the bar while The Unicorn King graced our presence as usual as more and more of us (including myself) stripped down to our underthings. DJ Johnny Stokes helped take our minds off of the room being a hellpit with some awesome jams.

What's that? You want pictures? Unfortunately, our normal party pic go-to, Justin, was absent so we had a kind of community photography effort. Phear our superior point-and-shoot skillzz!!!!11!!

... I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm sure it's along the lines of, "Dayum." Perhaps.

Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed in (or at least from the downtown area). Thursday was Money$hot at the Vagabond. The backyard was closed off the entire night, which allowed for the air conditioning to fully fill and circulate through both rooms. I was celebrating my friend Stephanie's birthday that night, so I wasn't all too much of the cynical socialite I usually am. I mean, it was your normal Money$hot. Indie rock, you know? Not really my thing. Whatevs.

Friday was the new Sound Clash night at The White Room with DJs Johnny Stokes, Dalton and Diego O. There was something weird going on at first (electrical, I think) so we all got in around 10:30-ish instead of 10, when the open bar was supposed to begin. Unfortunately, the party was a little bit of a bust at first. The crowd came, drank, and went when open bar was over at 12. And Johnny Stokes couldn't spin cause of an equipment fuck-up. Dalton tore it up meanwhile. Then we had a surprise set from DJ GRRRPWR! And then it all went dead around 3-something. Whatever, I had fun. Heard The Vagabond was dead for the most part too.

And then Saturday I made sure to hit up the entire holy trinity... Poplife/Rock the Bells Afterparty at White Room, Back Door Bamby at the Vagabond, and PS14 for Otto von Schirach. Poplife was decent, but there were more people at Back Door. I walked in during the middle of a performance, chilled out for a bit in the back room (the front room music isn't really my thing), and then wandered over to PS14 in time to watch the last half hour of Nastie and Otto being crazy on-stage. It was a pretty eventful night.

Oh and shit to do you have to do (especially seeing these pictures from the last one...) :

I'm hosting that shit bitches! (Just never call me Alexandra. Lix, please.)

Lose Five Pounds In Five Days: The Club Junkie's Way

In just five easy steps:

1. Don't sleep. When not at the club, keep yourself awake and busy by working a day-job that doesn't pay you nearly as much as you deserve.
2. Gain the little carb intake you want from comp'd drinks.
3. Go to the gym at least four times a week and run on the treadmill for at least 3 hours.
4. Take your smoking habit to a new non-social level.
5. Black coffee = breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Tip: Develop a dangerous, illegal habit.

You'll wake up in a few days and voila! you're tiny. The proof will be in the party pics!

And now, because I'm fresh out of sarcasm and am feeling too shitty to write something of more substance, I leave you with UMBC-recommended shit to do!

Saturday, July 26th

Poplife @ White Room (click for flyer)

Live performance from Astari Night

2-4-1 drinks before 12, doors open at 10

1306 N. Miami Ave

Monday, July 28th

Design and Architecture Senior High Summer Showcase

Featuring the best works of students from the DASH summer program

Snacks served! 6 - 7:30 p.m.

DASH Gallery, 4141 N.E. 2 Ave

(Fuck the M-DCPS budget cuts, support the arts! And after you do that, drop your pants for...)

Exposure @ White Room (click for Krystle's flyer and panty flyer)

Krystle's birthday/Miami's panty party!

2-4-1 drinks 10-11 and 3-4

1306 N. Miami Ave

Speaking of Exposure, check out this sexy promo video Andrews Lorenzana made:

See you bitches at the clubbbb!

Irritable Line Syndrome

So I'm mostly over going to the beach clubs (except I have yet to go to Aero). Why? Because of dumb semi-predictable shit like last night. In case you were sleeping under a rock, Jamie Lidell performed last night for a map magazine/Poplife event. I'm not quite sure of the exact people who were promoting this but they did a damn good job. It also couldn't have been too hard considering this is like, the ultimate Poplife weekend with the aforementioned anniversary party tonight in my last post. Now, let me begin my bitching.

I headed out on my way to Heathrow from home around 11. I got to Heathrow at 12:30 due to being stuck in standstill traffic on the causeway. Literally standstill. I would've taken a picture cause it looked crazy, but I didn't have the camera. I rolled down the windows, blasted a Designer Drugs mix and sat on the hood of my parked car for a good fifteen minutes. Turns out there was some shitty accident up ahead near the fork on the side for Alton Road. So I arrived at the place with melty-makeup and frizzed hair. Of course, ten minutes after standing in line to say that I'm a +1, the goddamn fire marshal rolls up. One of the girls at the door tells me that there's alarm trouble on the inside and that they've reached max capacity (400-something). The doors were then closed, and no one was allowed in (unless you were buying a minimum of two bottles). I stayed out there for quite some time to try to make that shitty wait on the bridge worth it, but eventually just was annoyed enough to get my car and drive to The Vagabond where I had some friends already and to meet some people who were leaving Heathrow.

Dear Miami Beach, why must you be shitty to me every time I see you? Can't we just be friends and get along?

And I'm not going to go on and on about this 'cause I kind of already did to like, the world but -- what the FUCK was up with 2 Live Crew deciding to sell out for the show at White Room on Thursday? And why was The Vagabond empty? This past Thursday downtown was the shittiest and most surprising yet.

Whatevers, today's outcome will be on the other side of the spectrum. See you tonight at White Room!

Suggested Reading

No no, I'm not telling you to skim-read through To Kill A Mockingbird over your summer vaycay. Check out this article.

SO! With that said, another reminder for this Saturday! Be sure to show up and give your extended hispter/indie family huggles at the Poplife 9 Year Anniversary at White Room. For those of you who aren't into the "scene" (for lack of better description), it's a really big deal to be able to keep an ongoing party up for even a year or two. Especially in the ever-picky metropolis of Miami.

I'll include myself in the aforementioned picky. Personally, in retrospect it gets me kind of warm n' fuzzy on the inside. I've met most of my close friends at random Poplife nights, and always look forward to toting along someone who has never been before. I can name my favorite usual people that I KNOW will be there on my hands (more than once). Aw.

 I extend a high-five to Barbie and Aramis. Come celebrate and get down to Free Blood with all of us! Click here to purchase your $15 ticket from Wantickets.com.

Sidenote: UMCB has an e-mail and AIM screenname available now! If you ever need to contact me for any reason, just shoot me some formatted Unicode at misslix.umcb@gmail.com or talk shit with me on AIM using misslixtheumcb. I expect to hear from someone soon!

"My Beautiful Mommy" and Another Monday Night Past

"A must-have for any mother with young children considering plastic surgery."

Only in America can we have plastic surgeons publish children's books in which the cosmetic plastic surgery process is defined, explained and made out to be an extremely nonchalant change. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It seems as though that M.D. Michael Salzhauer is testing all of us. It seems mostly like a good idea to me. I mean, I can imagine it would be crazy-difficult to explain to little Susie how and why Mommy went up a cup and a half over a school day. Salzhauer uses the elementary cliché caterpillar-to-butterfly comparison from what I can tell by flipping through some of the pages digitally on the official website. The only thing that worries me is why wasn't Mommy beautiful from the start? That, and what the FUCK is going on with the illustrations? Dramatized and glamorized, much? Look at that woman's waistline! And she's surrounded by glittery-wooshy things. Of course. When I have my tatas done, I'll demand the surgical staff to wave sparklers around them...

I'd make this a much more ranty and long post, but I'm dead worn from the events (or lack thereof) of last night. In short, it was one of the best nights of music at Exposure @ White Room yet on top of DJ Blaqstarr MC/DJ-ing. And flirtatiously inviting me to Denny's and then Hotel Victor. Pictures, as always, can be found here and here.

I work mornings every goddamn day till Saturday (I think), so I'm probably not going to be partying too hard this week.* What I will definitely be doing?

Thursday, July 17th

Money$hot @ The Vagabond (click for flyer)

Free before 12am, $10 after

30 NE 14th St

Saturday, July 19th

Poplife's 9-Year Anniversary (!!!) @ White Room (click for flyer)

Tickets available for $15 online

1306 N. Miami Ave

I'm also going to be sharing my favorite song of the moment with you guys:

Time to Pretend - MGMT

* This is a lie.

Gameboy/Gamegirl at Poplife at White Room Review

Another delayed post.

This past Saturday at Poplife, the Australian electro group Gameboy/Gamegirl was booked for a show. Honestly, I had never heard their stuff beforehand so I was feeling pretty accepting no matter what. The kids pretty much had a slightly more extreme-looking "I got this granny jacket at Goodwill for $3"-look in comparison to a lot of the people I see in the usual downtown scene (feel free to rank on me regarding "usual downtown scene" at any point if you were there and saw me wearing my American Apparel rouched tube dress).

The main room remained pretty empty for maybe the first half of a song or so, but soon quickly filled up. Quite honestly, the lot of their songs seemed like looped samples that they just Uffie-style sang-talked over. A technical difficulty, ripped pant leg and exposed-and-drawn-on-fatty-tummy later from them, a few beats were catchy in the end. Unfortunately for the most part I just leaned there against the booth and kept thinking about the time and cost of the flight from Australia to the 305 for this.

I had a chance to meet up and talk with them afterward and tell them that they did indeed act pretty enthusiastic on stage and that the performance itself was enjoyable. I promised an add on MySpace and proceeded to continue dancing with my peoples while Miami Horror's set (not to be mistaken for being from here, also originates from Down Under with GB/GG) was going. Which I enjoyed more that the main showcase.

And now still and motion media from my super sophisticated Canon point-and-shoot:

Gameboy/Gamegirl performing on stage at White Room

Here's some quick UMCB-suggested reading from my boo Duran down at the Miami New Times. Although it's not an after-show review (which you should keep checking back for), it definitely speaks another unmentioned facet of why I'm not too sure about GB/GG.

And for photography that actually clearly shows the show/my extended hipster family, you ought to keep on the New Times site and look at the slideshow or my favorite party pic site, The Popness Party.

A nice picture of Duran and I.Justin Namon/Miami New Times
P.S. As mentioned before, UMCB will be undegoing some changes in content. As of today, MAJOR changes. My tastes have changed as well as what I do on a daily basis. In example, compare this post to the Victoria's Secret PINK Rally at the Raleigh event coverage way earlier.

Happy Fourth!

Sorry for the extreme lack of posts NOT having to do with my ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend. I'm going to start making myself update with a kind of schedule, like a review every Thursday, fashion news every Monday, etc. That'll probably make me stay on top of things.

Otherwise ladies (and gents?) I've been partying my brains out to the point where I wake up with a headache I don't care that much about every morning.

Oh and I pretty much just don't hang around South Beach anymore -- it's really just full of super-old rich douchebaggy foreign guys that want to take you back to their room at one of the trendy boutique hotels. You usually find me at the following clubs/lounges/bars: White Room, The "Vag" Vagabond and PS14. The scope is a little wider that that, but those are the places that are all within walking distance of each other. That, and I don't have to run around with what used to be a library card that has a bad picture of me and states that I am a black haired, brown eyed, 5'7" 21-year-old from Nevada.

Either way, enjoy yourselves today. Whatever you do, don't be lame and wear our nations colors/patterns unless you're going to be in a damn parade. My mom used to dress me like the flag when I was four. Here are some events going on tonight in the 305 just in case you have nothing to do. And they'll all be from the non-Downtown area as a bellyrub for me dissing stuff from the beach. It's mostly the Opium Group I'm hating on. C'mon, there's no excuse NOT to go out when you have two grand openings:

The Nikki Coconut Grove 4th of July Bash Dinner

(In the Sonesta Hotel Lobby)

Food and drink specials all day

2889 Mc Farlane Rd

RSVP: (786) 343-6238

Heathrow Lounge Grand Opening

Complimentary cocktails from 11 to 12:30

Feat DJs Ruen, Midas and Doormouse

681 Washington Ave

RSVP: E-mail heathrowlounge@aol.com w/ name, e-mail, number and D.O.B.

Official Grand Opening of DOLCE Ultralounge

Complimentary entry 'till 1 (must RSVP at above link)

Feat Stephen Luke, ESP, DJ Turk & David G.

1501 Collins Ave

Bottle RSVP: (305) 672-2221

Haha -- and if you don't feel like dressing up too much and just want to chill and do something that seems eh, we'll call it "interesting":

LOOP: Freedom Fries at PS14

Served fresh all night!

Matt Cash, Plot, Sharpsound, Sweet Dick Vega, Stravinsky, Quita and Aramis

28 NE 14th St

(No need to RSVP here!)

I'm sick today, so I'll see all of you for Poplife at White Room tomorrow (hopefully). Love you guys!

My Ex's Boyfriend.

Just because I don't want their faces directly on here for me to have to throw up at every time I need to update... a classic ROFLCOPTER moment for the lot of us is here.

Goodbye Drama, Waking Up Too Early and Academics

Hello new people, afternoon classes and 100% art-related curriculum. For those who didn't know, I will be heading to art school in Chicago come August. I'm going to miss Miami. Then again, I'll be flying back and forth quite often so no worries. Because my dangly-armed self will be FREEZING. I'm excited to see what I'm going to look like after losing the freshie fifteen (I will be without meal plan) and white (hibernation)! OMG MAGICAL HOLLYWOOD-STYLE TRANSFORMATION FAT TANNED GIRL TO ANA WHITE GIRL.

The last bits of high school -- let's see... prom sucked. Straight up sucked. Balls. Your prom would suck too if your ex-boyfriend was your old best friend's date. Your prom would suck too if yet another ex-boyfriend was there with a girl you didn't particularly love, henceforth making you feel awkward. But whatever. Thankfully the idea of PROM doesn't mean that much to me. Nyahhh, you only get one prom! Don't care. It's high school, you guys. The only real time when I need a man on my arm is my wedding day and lemme tell you, it ain't gonna be Adam Drewke. He wishes he could have a beautiful girl for a lover again. Can remind him that Miss Lix > Harry Potter? She must drive him around or something for him to like her so much. Ew, that makes me think about how much money I spent on that boy. And what would he buy me? The occasional coffee at Starbucks. Girls, don't spoil your shopping money on boys unless you really DO have that much money. 

Ugh, people suck. Trust me. 

... Actually, no. Don't trust anyone.

Graduation on the other hand was wonderful ( ...I got to throw the bird up in Adam's face on the way out)! The morning was exhilarating, just knowing that I would never have to see any of these people again. Or wake up at 5am to go through two hours of transit. I think I managed to still look super cute in that big ugly gown-thing and what I now like calling a flat-hat (graduation cap). My parents, grandparents and uncle were there to watch me in the ceremony and when it was through I walked out with a big dorky smile on my face and two giant bouquets of roses in my arms. After the ceremony we all went to Graziano's where I ate like a princess -- spinach gnocchi with almonds in a rich pesto and my favorite dessert of all time, tiramisu, for dessert. (This restaurant is amazing by the way, I highly recommend it to those who would like Argentinean/Italian fusion. They also have one of the best libraries of wine I've seen. It's a classy place, be prepared to spend at least $30, à la carte . Must have money in bank.)

Well that's all I'm chatting up tonight, kids. All in all, I can say that I've been sleeping with a smile on my face the past few days. It's late and a girl needs her beauty sleep to stay looking like this!

[ Non-existent graduation picture without a dork-face.]

EDITED! But wait! Pictures make people want to read things more. Ever notice that? So here is a random picture of me where I look fucking adorable (on the left).

Me and Cindy in what is now my old school.

P.S. Hey guys, I have money and I want to spend it. Suggest cool sites that you shop on (or wish you did). Especially ones with cute things for my apartment when I'm at school.

P.P.S. Poplife sucked for the first time this past Saturday!? Lots of grimy, oldddd guys and weird Hot Topic girls? Say what? The set being spun wasn't all that great either. Waste of my ten bucks. I could have bought a drink at The Vagabond with that gwop instead and chilled with the cute boy I had met before in an aforementioned blog entry. But but but I ended my night with Lackner of Miami Nights, which is pretty much just as good (if not better).