July 25, 2008

Lose Five Pounds In Five Days: The Club Junkie's Way

In just five easy steps:
  1. Don't sleep. When not at the club, keep yourself awake and busy by working a day-job that doesn't pay you nearly as much as you deserve.
  2. Gain the little carb intake you want from comp'd drinks.
  3. Go to the gym at least four times a week and run on the treadmill for at least 3 hours.
  4. Take your smoking habit to a new non-social level.
  5. Black coffee = breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Tip: Develop a dangerous, illegal habit.

You'll wake up in a few days and voila! you're tiny. The proof will be in the party pics!

And now, because I'm fresh out of sarcasm and am feeling too shitty to write something of more substance, I leave you with UMBC-recommended shit to do!

Saturday, July 26th
Poplife @ White Room (click for flyer)
Live performance from Astari Night
2-4-1 drinks before 12, doors open at 10

Monday, July 28th
Featuring the best works of students from the DASH summer program
Snacks served! 6 - 7:30 p.m.
DASH Gallery, 4141 N.E. 2 Ave
(Fuck the M-DCPS budget cuts, support the arts! And after you do that, drop your pants for...)

Exposure @ White Room (click for Krystle's flyer and panty flyer)
Krystle's birthday/Miami's panty party!
2-4-1 drinks 10-11 and 3-4

Speaking of Exposure, check out this sexy promo video Andrews Lorenzana made:

See you bitches at the clubbbb!