Lix Says Happy Thanksgiving!

Photo by Lex

Last night was pretty awesome. Rye Rye is super hot live (especially when you're shaking it to the ground about ten feet away from her on-stage)! Check out the 'HARDCORE GIRLS' photo set on 8mts and see if you can find a picture of me. I'm too busy getting ready for a dinner I can't enjoy to look right now. Being vegan is rough.

Also, I drew a picture on the plane ride over to Miami last night for you guys. I'll scan it later.

Tonight -- be sure to dance off the calories you've stuffed yourself with at White Room for The Freaks Come Out at Night! Featuring the debut of Coochie Cutters (my girls Linda Attias and Clara Infante) as a rap duo. Stravinsky, Damaged Goods, MGA, Cosmo and Diego de la Vega complete the lineup tonight. 18+ are welcome and it's only a $5 cover with 2-4-1 drinks alllll niiiiight loooong.

I Know What I'm Thankful For.

Here is one of many things to do for the week of Thanksgiving. Ergo, be thankful for parties.

In my opinion, the heavy hitter will be tomorrow in Miami when M.I.A.'s 17-year-old club girl, Rye Rye, and a pioneer (he could be a father, he's 40!) of Baltimore ass-shaking tracks, Scottie B, get together. It's a b-more attack! Intense. I'm super excited. I need to get on booking an afternoon flight so I can definitely make it (I get flights that arrive in Miami after 10pm for some reason).

Neighborhood booty-skaking attack to be exact!

Spiderpussy presents Thanksgiving Eve B-More Attack
White Room, 1306 N. Miami Ave.
Wednesday, November 26
Rye Rye with Scottie B Live, plus Johnny Strokes & AL B Rotten
$10, Doors at 10pm



More holiday/ArtBasel Miami parties to come...!

Matt & Kim in Chicago

Huzzah, the super-adorable Matt & Kim are going to be touring not one, but two nights here in Chicago! If you haven't heard of them or haven't heard any of their new stuff, I highly suggest you take a listen and download their new track, "Daylight", for free on greenlabelsound.com.

Tour dates are as follows for the Chicago area:

Tuesday November 11th
Subterranean

2011 West North Ave.

with BF and Hollywood Holt, $10, 9pm

Wednesday November 12th
Subterranean

2011 West North Ave.

With BF, $10, all ages. This is an early show, 6pm!

Unfortunately the tour doesn't span too far out so they won't be in Miami. Bug them on the their MySpace to do a show in the 305 (or see other tour dates) and show them some love!

Meanwhile, I'm freezing my ass off and wishing I was back home 90 miles from Cuba. I've been updating my tumblr a lot recently, so be sure to check that out! Sorry I got lazy with the main site.

This is it, you guys.

Tonight is a historic night. It seems that mostly all of Chicago is hyped up for Obama's last campaign rally right here in our very own Grant Park. If you managed to get an official ticket to enter the actual area where Obama will be speaking, ughimsojealousfuckyou. If not, I really think you should head out there anyway - - be a part of this! This is a world-changing day, event and decision that we Americans all need to recognize. Do be careful though if you decide to head out there, there is to be an estimated one million people in attendance. Uh, again. Historic.

Here's a super helpful graphic taken from the Chicago Tribune site to help you navigate the area. You can click this image to enlarge it.



I'm still at work the 9th floor of a building looking at the Art Institute and I can hear the cheering already. I'll be there tonight covering the event. So far, all I've got for you are these pictures by my window at my desk from about an hour ago (I have a pretty nice view aside fromt the reflection of computers, sorry about that).

Millenium Park and a high-rise building that got clever with lighting!


More clever lighting from the left facade of the Art Institute of Chicago.

For more information about the rally in Chicago tonight please visit the Chicago Tribune website. To watch states hopefully light up blue, check out the live updating map on CNN.

Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk, Martin Luther King walked so Obama could run, Obama's running so we all can fly.

PLEASE Vote Tomorrow.

If you haven't already voted early. If you don't know where to vote tomorrow, use this. Just punch in your address and it'll give you all the information you need, including a polling place you can go to.

Currently In Miami

Photo by Justin Namon

Hope your Halloween was as fun as mine. I flew back to Miami last night and went to Heathrow with my friend Duran to see Chromeo* last night! More pictures from the event are here.

(Download Chromeo's super fire remix of Treasure Finger's "Cross the Dancefloor"!)

After I had my fill of Chromeo I headed to The Vagabond for the Dos Equis burlesque-y circus-y themed party. That was fun too. Pictures from that event are also on the Miami New Times site.

Tonight be sure to stop by the Dios de los Muertos/post-Halloween thing at White Room and give me a hug. Residents Mike Deuce and Aramis will be there as usual along with WVUM and Team Rojas in the Red Room. Doors at 10, no cover before midnight as usual otherwise it's $10. Drink specials all night long! Cool flyer too. Click it to see it bigger.


See you tonight.

Exposure Tonight @ White Room

Click to see it bigger.

Ah, one of my favorite parties. Too bad I'm freezing my ass off in Chicago right now (I got hardcore hailed on Friday night on the way to a party)! The great usual DJs will be going crazy in the red room at White Room (1306 N. Miami Ave.) tonight on the 1 and 2 for the weekly Exposure party. Don't show up if you don't like dancing, seriously. Go and meet yourself some cute electro hipster girls, get your 2-4-1 drank on and be sure to say hey to my girl Krystle for me!

RSVP for the event via Facebook.

Spin the Vote Tonight!

If you're in Miami this weekend and are savvy about getting the democratic vote out (Obama '08!), then you really should hit up Poplife's Spin The Vote event tonight at White Room (1306 N. Miami Ave)! DJ Arthur Baker (best known for his work with artists like Afrika Bambaataa, Planet Patrol, New Order, Cyndi Lauper, Bob Dylan, Beastie Boys, Al Green etc.) will be making an appearance to spin a special electro set for the night with John Robie. Resident DJ Aramis and DJ Induce will also be there dropping hot tracks while reps from Obama's campaign and congressman Robert Wexler get you hyped about the upcoming election. Make sure you go! There's no cover and a 2-4-1 drink deal before midnight.

If you haven't registered to vote, do it! No joking around, get on that shit.



Chicago: If you haven't bought your >Yelle tickets yet, do it now. The show's on Tuesday at Logan Square Auditorium (2539 N Kedzie Blvd).

YELLE'S American Tour!

There's definitely no reason for you not to see the French electro cutie superstar, Yelle, in Miami! She's on her "C'est Amerique" tour and will be rocking the Polish American Club (1250 NW 22nd Ave) tomorrow. It's all ages and only $15. Buy your last minute tickets here. Yelle will also be coming to Chicago on the 21st -- I'll be there, you can count on it!

"Ce Jeu" (Check out the Nerf bullet-adorned sunglasses!)


"Je Veux Te Voir"

C'est Amerique tour dates are as follows:

Sat 10/11 : Orlando, FL @ The Social

Mon 10/13 : Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club

Tue 10/14 : New York, NY @ Webster Hall

Wed 10/15 : Boston, MA @ The Roxy
Tue 10/21 : Chicago, IL @ Logan Square Auditorium

Wed 10/22 : Milwaukee, WI @ Turner Hall
Fri 10/24 : Denver, CO @ Ogden Theatre
Sat 10/25 : Salt Lake City, UT @ Urban Lounge

Mon 10/27 : Seattle, WA @ Neumos
Tue 10/28 : Vancouver, BC @ Commodore Ballroom

Wed 10/29: Portland, OR @ Berbati's

Fri 10/31 : San Francisco, CA @ Mezzanine

Sat 11/01 : Los Angeles, CA @ Henry Fonda Theatre

Sun 11/02: San Diego, CA @ Beauty Bar

P.S. Now when you search the acronymn "UMCB" in Google, uppermiddleclassbitch shows up on the first page! It may be last on the list, but still!! Keep visiting the site, tell your friends, and show some love! There will also be a drawing for a free giveaway when the visitor count reaches 2,000. Sign up on the mailing list (on the left under my picture) to double your chances of winning. Tell your friends about the site and keep checking back! Love you guys!

Sign Up For The Chicago UMCB Mailing List!

Sign up on the uppermiddleclassbitch. mailing list for Chicago event flyers, reviews, blog updates and contests (want the Miami newsletter)?

Comment on this post with your name, location and e-mail address. Only I will be able to see it. I promise I won't junk up your mailbox/sell your information.

XOXO
Miss Lix

Sign Up For The Miami UMCB Mailing List!

Sign up on the uppermiddleclassbitch. mailing list for Miami event flyers, reviews, blog updates and contests (want the Chicago newsletter)?

Comment on this post with your name, location and e-mail address. Only I will be able to see it. I promise I won't junk up your mailbox/sell your information.

XOXO
Miss Lix

Reminder!

My official going-away party is tonight at White Room.

There's NO cover, open bar (free vodka!) 10-11 and first 10 minutes of every hour, the best DJs: Johnny Strokes, AL B Rotten, and De La Vega (Diego + Dalton), and you should should come to see me for one of my last party nights in Miami, bitches!

1306 N. Miami Ave

Miami, FL 33136

(Find it on Google Maps)

Be there or else you're stupid.

The flyer is in the previous post.

I'm going to cry in the airport...

...and it's gonna be like a movie. I'll hug my parents, grab my bags, and board the plane in slow-mo. And the guy sitting next to me on the plane will be playing some sap Coldplay or Keane song loud enough to be the soundtrack to it all. 

And then I'll get over it and become semi-famous in a new city.

I will be moving to Chicago for three or so months in 8 days (leaving Saturday morning). Although Chicago seems like an awesome city, my heart will always be in Miami. I'm going to miss this city so much! I'll even miss the assholes that weave in and out of lanes on the 836, the crazy bums that I pay off to look after my car (Troy the Wonderboy and Al, specifically) and the tourist-littered beaches. But most of all I'm going to miss my PARTY PEOPLE. What will I do without you guys? Geez.

Well, you all should know me already -- I'm having a bomb-ass going-away party tomorrow courtesy of White Room and my favorite men at MiamiNights. You need to come by and show me some lovin' before I go! Alas, this will not be my last night out at the clubs (I may host eXposure on Monday at White Room again) but it is the official party for me. It's also going to be Dalton's last night in Miami as well so you really should be there for his last set in the 305. Bring all of your friends, it's going to be popping! I whipped up a quick little flyer yesterday for it:

(Click the flyer to see it larger.)

And of course, the obligatory shit-to-do list, new and improved with Facebook event links (if available):

Thursday, August 14th (today)

Money$hot @ The Vagabond (flyer)

Feat. Los Borrachos Tour w/ DJ Craze & Dave Nada

2-4-1 drinks 10-11pm and 3-4am, $10 cover

(RSVP on Facebook)

APT Presents Red Room Thursdays (flyer)

Feat. Ray Milian, Jonathan & Josh

2-4-1 drinks 1-2am, comp shot for all @ 2am, 25 cent cover (?!)

(RSVP on Facebook)

Guilty Pleasures @ Aero Bar

Feat. DJ Ross One, Mark Leventhal & Artime

RSVP@aerobarmiami.com

(RSVP on Facebook)

Friday, August 15th

My Going-Away Party/Fracture @ White Room (flyer is above, duh)

Feat. DJs Johnny Strokes, AL B Rotten and De La Vega

Open bar 10-11pm and the first 10 minutes of every hour!

(RSVP on Facebook)

Saturday, August 16th

Poplife Presents: Paid Vacation @ White Room (flyer)

With IHMDJ and a live performance from Juiceboxxx

Fly Girl boutique in the Red Room, open bar 10-11pm

(RSVP on Facebook)

Jose & Branden Present: THISISIT @ Miami Art Space (flyer)

No alchy, but an awesome dance party in an awesome space nontheless!

Feat. DJs Dasme, Berryteback, Soobwoop & Rangotango

(RSVP on Facebook)

Coming soon on UMCB... an interview with The Fire and Reason!

SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW NIGHT AT WHITE ROOM!

P.S. If you don't have me added on MySpace yet, get at me!

eXposure Tonight @ White Room with DJ Scottie B!

(Click the flyer to see it larger.)

UMCB is turning into a bulletin board for flyers for shit going down at White Room, haha.

You need to come by tonight for eXposure at White Room! We managed to get the amazing Scottie B all the way from B-more (that's Baltimore for all you non-hipsters) to spin tonight! 2-4-1 specials and only $3 cover. It's going to be amazing. Oh yeah, and I'm hosting again so I'll be there to dance and act rowdy with you. What more could you want, honestly?

P.S. Last night I locked my keys in my car at 5:30am  like a fucking idiot. NEVER EVER call a locksmith at that time. That shit cost me $187 for a guy who barely spoke English to jimmy my shit open with a clipboard and a wire hanger in 30 seconds. Henceforth I'm going to be kind of acting broke-and-cheap for a couple days. Lowerclassbitch. But only till Friday, hopefully.

An Awesome New Friday Party!

Hopefully I'll see all of you tonight at The White Room for FRACTURE, a new weekly Friday party with the most ridick open bar plan. Get this: free drinks from 12am-1am AND during the first 15 minutes of every hour onward.

The flyer is a little scary, but it's not a secret Goth Night. Promise. Maybe it's called Fracture cause you'll get so mad trashed you'll leave with broken bones? Not sure. Either way, be there and give me a drunken hug! No cover here, duh.

Plus my boy Dalton is going to be DJ-ing this shit, check him out and download some of his tracks and mixes! He won't be here in the 305 much longer, be sure to come tonight and check him out.

Click the flyer to enlarge it!

FINALLY Murk'd Pics and Shit to Do This Weekend!

Okay so am I the biggest procrastinator or what?? Here the pictures are, finally, from "The Big Sleep" Murk'd art party at PS14 from last Thursday. It's been a year since this happened in Clubland.

Fellow model Sam and myself got "bodypainted" (more like, graffiti-doodled and taped-up) by local arteests AholSniffsGlue and 131/Data-D while Salami Fingaz ripped it up behind us with everything from downtempo houseyness to Wu Tang.

With exhibit curators and masterminds Parable and Movie Boy.

(click for larger versions)

Photos by Chipi of CoolJunkie.com, check there for more pictures of the event!

And now for the original UMCB "Shit to Do" section of this update (* indicates a weekly party):

Thursday, August 7th (today)

Pimpin' In The Red Room @ White Room (flyer)

Feat DJs Otto von Schirach, Peasants with Feathers and more

18+ w/ID $5 Cover. Drink specials all night, doors open @ 10

Money$hot @ The Vagabond * (flyer)

Welcoming back DJ Contra from the Coldplay/Santogold tour!

2-4-1s from 10-11pm and 3-4am, doors open @ 10

Saturday, August 9th

AquaBooty Raleigh Hotel Summer Sessions (flyer)

Feat. NYC's DJ Mr. V and more. 21+ only.

I have 2 poolside event tickets to give away, e-mail/IM me if you want them GONE!

Otherwise RSVP for guestlist to tomas@aquabooty.com for the pool party

Buy pre-sale Penthouse after-party tickets here

Poplife presents Popart @ White Room * (flyer)

$1 SNOWCONES!!!!!!!! Haha, perfect for a steamy Miami night.

And no cover plus 2-4-1s before 12.

More shit to do coming soon!

P.S. Want more traffic on your nightlife/party pic/fashion/music/slightly-related site? Me too. Exchange links with me!

TGIS! The Week In Review..

So while I wait for what seems like forever for the pictures from last night's Murk'd party "The Big Sleep" at PS14, here's the week in review. 

I'll throw some pictures at you from this past Monday's Exposure party which just so happened to be a panty party AND Krystle's birthday as well. I anticipated only a couple girls showing up in underwear, but hell, it got super-packed, super-fast. A birthday platter of cookies and brownies adorned the corner of the bar while The Unicorn King graced our presence as usual as more and more of us (including myself) stripped down to our underthings. DJ Johnny Stokes helped take our minds off of the room being a hellpit with some awesome jams.

What's that? You want pictures? Unfortunately, our normal party pic go-to, Justin, was absent so we had a kind of community photography effort. Phear our superior point-and-shoot skillzz!!!!11!!

... I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm sure it's along the lines of, "Dayum." Perhaps.

Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed in (or at least from the downtown area). Thursday was Money$hot at the Vagabond. The backyard was closed off the entire night, which allowed for the air conditioning to fully fill and circulate through both rooms. I was celebrating my friend Stephanie's birthday that night, so I wasn't all too much of the cynical socialite I usually am. I mean, it was your normal Money$hot. Indie rock, you know? Not really my thing. Whatevs.

Friday was the new Sound Clash night at The White Room with DJs Johnny Stokes, Dalton and Diego O. There was something weird going on at first (electrical, I think) so we all got in around 10:30-ish instead of 10, when the open bar was supposed to begin. Unfortunately, the party was a little bit of a bust at first. The crowd came, drank, and went when open bar was over at 12. And Johnny Stokes couldn't spin cause of an equipment fuck-up. Dalton tore it up meanwhile. Then we had a surprise set from DJ GRRRPWR! And then it all went dead around 3-something. Whatever, I had fun. Heard The Vagabond was dead for the most part too.

And then Saturday I made sure to hit up the entire holy trinity... Poplife/Rock the Bells Afterparty at White Room, Back Door Bamby at the Vagabond, and PS14 for Otto von Schirach. Poplife was decent, but there were more people at Back Door. I walked in during the middle of a performance, chilled out for a bit in the back room (the front room music isn't really my thing), and then wandered over to PS14 in time to watch the last half hour of Nastie and Otto being crazy on-stage. It was a pretty eventful night.

Oh and shit to do you have to do (especially seeing these pictures from the last one...) :

I'm hosting that shit bitches! (Just never call me Alexandra. Lix, please.)

Lose Five Pounds In Five Days: The Club Junkie's Way

In just five easy steps:

1. Don't sleep. When not at the club, keep yourself awake and busy by working a day-job that doesn't pay you nearly as much as you deserve.
2. Gain the little carb intake you want from comp'd drinks.
3. Go to the gym at least four times a week and run on the treadmill for at least 3 hours.
4. Take your smoking habit to a new non-social level.
5. Black coffee = breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Tip: Develop a dangerous, illegal habit.

You'll wake up in a few days and voila! you're tiny. The proof will be in the party pics!

And now, because I'm fresh out of sarcasm and am feeling too shitty to write something of more substance, I leave you with UMBC-recommended shit to do!

Saturday, July 26th

Poplife @ White Room (click for flyer)

Live performance from Astari Night

2-4-1 drinks before 12, doors open at 10

1306 N. Miami Ave

Monday, July 28th

Design and Architecture Senior High Summer Showcase

Featuring the best works of students from the DASH summer program

Snacks served! 6 - 7:30 p.m.

DASH Gallery, 4141 N.E. 2 Ave

(Fuck the M-DCPS budget cuts, support the arts! And after you do that, drop your pants for...)

Exposure @ White Room (click for Krystle's flyer and panty flyer)

Krystle's birthday/Miami's panty party!

2-4-1 drinks 10-11 and 3-4

1306 N. Miami Ave

Speaking of Exposure, check out this sexy promo video Andrews Lorenzana made:

See you bitches at the clubbbb!

Suggested Reading

No no, I'm not telling you to skim-read through To Kill A Mockingbird over your summer vaycay. Check out this article.

SO! With that said, another reminder for this Saturday! Be sure to show up and give your extended hispter/indie family huggles at the Poplife 9 Year Anniversary at White Room. For those of you who aren't into the "scene" (for lack of better description), it's a really big deal to be able to keep an ongoing party up for even a year or two. Especially in the ever-picky metropolis of Miami.

I'll include myself in the aforementioned picky. Personally, in retrospect it gets me kind of warm n' fuzzy on the inside. I've met most of my close friends at random Poplife nights, and always look forward to toting along someone who has never been before. I can name my favorite usual people that I KNOW will be there on my hands (more than once). Aw.

 I extend a high-five to Barbie and Aramis. Come celebrate and get down to Free Blood with all of us! Click here to purchase your $15 ticket from Wantickets.com.

Sidenote: UMCB has an e-mail and AIM screenname available now! If you ever need to contact me for any reason, just shoot me some formatted Unicode at misslix.umcb@gmail.com or talk shit with me on AIM using misslixtheumcb. I expect to hear from someone soon!

"My Beautiful Mommy" and Another Monday Night Past

"A must-have for any mother with young children considering plastic surgery."

Only in America can we have plastic surgeons publish children's books in which the cosmetic plastic surgery process is defined, explained and made out to be an extremely nonchalant change. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It seems as though that M.D. Michael Salzhauer is testing all of us. It seems mostly like a good idea to me. I mean, I can imagine it would be crazy-difficult to explain to little Susie how and why Mommy went up a cup and a half over a school day. Salzhauer uses the elementary cliché caterpillar-to-butterfly comparison from what I can tell by flipping through some of the pages digitally on the official website. The only thing that worries me is why wasn't Mommy beautiful from the start? That, and what the FUCK is going on with the illustrations? Dramatized and glamorized, much? Look at that woman's waistline! And she's surrounded by glittery-wooshy things. Of course. When I have my tatas done, I'll demand the surgical staff to wave sparklers around them...

I'd make this a much more ranty and long post, but I'm dead worn from the events (or lack thereof) of last night. In short, it was one of the best nights of music at Exposure @ White Room yet on top of DJ Blaqstarr MC/DJ-ing. And flirtatiously inviting me to Denny's and then Hotel Victor. Pictures, as always, can be found here and here.

I work mornings every goddamn day till Saturday (I think), so I'm probably not going to be partying too hard this week.* What I will definitely be doing?

Thursday, July 17th

Money$hot @ The Vagabond (click for flyer)

Free before 12am, $10 after

30 NE 14th St

Saturday, July 19th

Poplife's 9-Year Anniversary (!!!) @ White Room (click for flyer)

Tickets available for $15 online

1306 N. Miami Ave

I'm also going to be sharing my favorite song of the moment with you guys:

Time to Pretend - MGMT

* This is a lie.