eXposure Tonight @ White Room with DJ Scottie B!

(Click the flyer to see it larger.)

UMCB is turning into a bulletin board for flyers for shit going down at White Room, haha.

You need to come by tonight for eXposure at White Room! We managed to get the amazing Scottie B all the way from B-more (that's Baltimore for all you non-hipsters) to spin tonight! 2-4-1 specials and only $3 cover. It's going to be amazing. Oh yeah, and I'm hosting again so I'll be there to dance and act rowdy with you. What more could you want, honestly?

P.S. Last night I locked my keys in my car at 5:30am  like a fucking idiot. NEVER EVER call a locksmith at that time. That shit cost me $187 for a guy who barely spoke English to jimmy my shit open with a clipboard and a wire hanger in 30 seconds. Henceforth I'm going to be kind of acting broke-and-cheap for a couple days. Lowerclassbitch. But only till Friday, hopefully.

An Awesome New Friday Party!

Hopefully I'll see all of you tonight at The White Room for FRACTURE, a new weekly Friday party with the most ridick open bar plan. Get this: free drinks from 12am-1am AND during the first 15 minutes of every hour onward.

The flyer is a little scary, but it's not a secret Goth Night. Promise. Maybe it's called Fracture cause you'll get so mad trashed you'll leave with broken bones? Not sure. Either way, be there and give me a drunken hug! No cover here, duh.

Plus my boy Dalton is going to be DJ-ing this shit, check him out and download some of his tracks and mixes! He won't be here in the 305 much longer, be sure to come tonight and check him out.

Click the flyer to enlarge it!

FINALLY Murk'd Pics and Shit to Do This Weekend!

Okay so am I the biggest procrastinator or what?? Here the pictures are, finally, from "The Big Sleep" Murk'd art party at PS14 from last Thursday. It's been a year since this happened in Clubland.

Fellow model Sam and myself got "bodypainted" (more like, graffiti-doodled and taped-up) by local arteests AholSniffsGlue and 131/Data-D while Salami Fingaz ripped it up behind us with everything from downtempo houseyness to Wu Tang.

With exhibit curators and masterminds Parable and Movie Boy.

(click for larger versions)

Photos by Chipi of CoolJunkie.com, check there for more pictures of the event!

And now for the original UMCB "Shit to Do" section of this update (* indicates a weekly party):

Thursday, August 7th (today)

Pimpin' In The Red Room @ White Room (flyer)

Feat DJs Otto von Schirach, Peasants with Feathers and more

18+ w/ID $5 Cover. Drink specials all night, doors open @ 10

Money$hot @ The Vagabond * (flyer)

Welcoming back DJ Contra from the Coldplay/Santogold tour!

2-4-1s from 10-11pm and 3-4am, doors open @ 10

Saturday, August 9th

AquaBooty Raleigh Hotel Summer Sessions (flyer)

Feat. NYC's DJ Mr. V and more. 21+ only.

I have 2 poolside event tickets to give away, e-mail/IM me if you want them GONE!

Otherwise RSVP for guestlist to tomas@aquabooty.com for the pool party

Buy pre-sale Penthouse after-party tickets here

Poplife presents Popart @ White Room * (flyer)

$1 SNOWCONES!!!!!!!! Haha, perfect for a steamy Miami night.

And no cover plus 2-4-1s before 12.

More shit to do coming soon!

P.S. Want more traffic on your nightlife/party pic/fashion/music/slightly-related site? Me too. Exchange links with me!

Umm...

I was just about to do an update with those pictures from PS14 on Thursday night (where I got "bodypainted") when I realized that I haven't slept in about 40 hours. So I stopped, and said I'll do this tomorrow. Check and follow me on my Twitter meanwhile for more sporadic random updates on what I'm doing throughout the day. I often update from my phone in the car or when I'm getting my pedi and I'm bored. I'm funny, promise.

Because I don't want to seem like a complete tease with these pictures I've been promising, here's a picture of me getting graffiti'd up by Gustavo from the back:

Click it for the larger version.

Frontal pictures tomorrow!!!! WOOO!!

And now I'm thinking that I'm still slightly out of my mind because I'm writing a post about deciding to not write a post because I need to go to sleep before I die. Look at me, still rambling on and on about shit you don't particularly care about!

So I will now go to sleep without really having much sense of what time it is and pretend to be a normal human being.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep?

TGIS! The Week In Review..

So while I wait for what seems like forever for the pictures from last night's Murk'd party "The Big Sleep" at PS14, here's the week in review. 

I'll throw some pictures at you from this past Monday's Exposure party which just so happened to be a panty party AND Krystle's birthday as well. I anticipated only a couple girls showing up in underwear, but hell, it got super-packed, super-fast. A birthday platter of cookies and brownies adorned the corner of the bar while The Unicorn King graced our presence as usual as more and more of us (including myself) stripped down to our underthings. DJ Johnny Stokes helped take our minds off of the room being a hellpit with some awesome jams.

What's that? You want pictures? Unfortunately, our normal party pic go-to, Justin, was absent so we had a kind of community photography effort. Phear our superior point-and-shoot skillzz!!!!11!!

... I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm sure it's along the lines of, "Dayum." Perhaps.

Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed in (or at least from the downtown area). Thursday was Money$hot at the Vagabond. The backyard was closed off the entire night, which allowed for the air conditioning to fully fill and circulate through both rooms. I was celebrating my friend Stephanie's birthday that night, so I wasn't all too much of the cynical socialite I usually am. I mean, it was your normal Money$hot. Indie rock, you know? Not really my thing. Whatevs.

Friday was the new Sound Clash night at The White Room with DJs Johnny Stokes, Dalton and Diego O. There was something weird going on at first (electrical, I think) so we all got in around 10:30-ish instead of 10, when the open bar was supposed to begin. Unfortunately, the party was a little bit of a bust at first. The crowd came, drank, and went when open bar was over at 12. And Johnny Stokes couldn't spin cause of an equipment fuck-up. Dalton tore it up meanwhile. Then we had a surprise set from DJ GRRRPWR! And then it all went dead around 3-something. Whatever, I had fun. Heard The Vagabond was dead for the most part too.

And then Saturday I made sure to hit up the entire holy trinity... Poplife/Rock the Bells Afterparty at White Room, Back Door Bamby at the Vagabond, and PS14 for Otto von Schirach. Poplife was decent, but there were more people at Back Door. I walked in during the middle of a performance, chilled out for a bit in the back room (the front room music isn't really my thing), and then wandered over to PS14 in time to watch the last half hour of Nastie and Otto being crazy on-stage. It was a pretty eventful night.

Oh and shit to do you have to do (especially seeing these pictures from the last one...) :

I'm hosting that shit bitches! (Just never call me Alexandra. Lix, please.)

Lose Five Pounds In Five Days: The Club Junkie's Way

In just five easy steps:

1. Don't sleep. When not at the club, keep yourself awake and busy by working a day-job that doesn't pay you nearly as much as you deserve.
2. Gain the little carb intake you want from comp'd drinks.
3. Go to the gym at least four times a week and run on the treadmill for at least 3 hours.
4. Take your smoking habit to a new non-social level.
5. Black coffee = breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Tip: Develop a dangerous, illegal habit.

You'll wake up in a few days and voila! you're tiny. The proof will be in the party pics!

And now, because I'm fresh out of sarcasm and am feeling too shitty to write something of more substance, I leave you with UMBC-recommended shit to do!

Saturday, July 26th

Poplife @ White Room (click for flyer)

Live performance from Astari Night

2-4-1 drinks before 12, doors open at 10

1306 N. Miami Ave

Monday, July 28th

Design and Architecture Senior High Summer Showcase

Featuring the best works of students from the DASH summer program

Snacks served! 6 - 7:30 p.m.

DASH Gallery, 4141 N.E. 2 Ave

(Fuck the M-DCPS budget cuts, support the arts! And after you do that, drop your pants for...)

Exposure @ White Room (click for Krystle's flyer and panty flyer)

Krystle's birthday/Miami's panty party!

2-4-1 drinks 10-11 and 3-4

1306 N. Miami Ave

Speaking of Exposure, check out this sexy promo video Andrews Lorenzana made:

See you bitches at the clubbbb!

Irritable Line Syndrome

So I'm mostly over going to the beach clubs (except I have yet to go to Aero). Why? Because of dumb semi-predictable shit like last night. In case you were sleeping under a rock, Jamie Lidell performed last night for a map magazine/Poplife event. I'm not quite sure of the exact people who were promoting this but they did a damn good job. It also couldn't have been too hard considering this is like, the ultimate Poplife weekend with the aforementioned anniversary party tonight in my last post. Now, let me begin my bitching.

I headed out on my way to Heathrow from home around 11. I got to Heathrow at 12:30 due to being stuck in standstill traffic on the causeway. Literally standstill. I would've taken a picture cause it looked crazy, but I didn't have the camera. I rolled down the windows, blasted a Designer Drugs mix and sat on the hood of my parked car for a good fifteen minutes. Turns out there was some shitty accident up ahead near the fork on the side for Alton Road. So I arrived at the place with melty-makeup and frizzed hair. Of course, ten minutes after standing in line to say that I'm a +1, the goddamn fire marshal rolls up. One of the girls at the door tells me that there's alarm trouble on the inside and that they've reached max capacity (400-something). The doors were then closed, and no one was allowed in (unless you were buying a minimum of two bottles). I stayed out there for quite some time to try to make that shitty wait on the bridge worth it, but eventually just was annoyed enough to get my car and drive to The Vagabond where I had some friends already and to meet some people who were leaving Heathrow.

Dear Miami Beach, why must you be shitty to me every time I see you? Can't we just be friends and get along?

And I'm not going to go on and on about this 'cause I kind of already did to like, the world but -- what the FUCK was up with 2 Live Crew deciding to sell out for the show at White Room on Thursday? And why was The Vagabond empty? This past Thursday downtown was the shittiest and most surprising yet.

Whatevers, today's outcome will be on the other side of the spectrum. See you tonight at White Room!

Suggested Reading

No no, I'm not telling you to skim-read through To Kill A Mockingbird over your summer vaycay. Check out this article.

SO! With that said, another reminder for this Saturday! Be sure to show up and give your extended hispter/indie family huggles at the Poplife 9 Year Anniversary at White Room. For those of you who aren't into the "scene" (for lack of better description), it's a really big deal to be able to keep an ongoing party up for even a year or two. Especially in the ever-picky metropolis of Miami.

I'll include myself in the aforementioned picky. Personally, in retrospect it gets me kind of warm n' fuzzy on the inside. I've met most of my close friends at random Poplife nights, and always look forward to toting along someone who has never been before. I can name my favorite usual people that I KNOW will be there on my hands (more than once). Aw.

 I extend a high-five to Barbie and Aramis. Come celebrate and get down to Free Blood with all of us! Click here to purchase your $15 ticket from Wantickets.com.

Sidenote: UMCB has an e-mail and AIM screenname available now! If you ever need to contact me for any reason, just shoot me some formatted Unicode at misslix.umcb@gmail.com or talk shit with me on AIM using misslixtheumcb. I expect to hear from someone soon!

"My Beautiful Mommy" and Another Monday Night Past

"A must-have for any mother with young children considering plastic surgery."

Only in America can we have plastic surgeons publish children's books in which the cosmetic plastic surgery process is defined, explained and made out to be an extremely nonchalant change. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It seems as though that M.D. Michael Salzhauer is testing all of us. It seems mostly like a good idea to me. I mean, I can imagine it would be crazy-difficult to explain to little Susie how and why Mommy went up a cup and a half over a school day. Salzhauer uses the elementary cliché caterpillar-to-butterfly comparison from what I can tell by flipping through some of the pages digitally on the official website. The only thing that worries me is why wasn't Mommy beautiful from the start? That, and what the FUCK is going on with the illustrations? Dramatized and glamorized, much? Look at that woman's waistline! And she's surrounded by glittery-wooshy things. Of course. When I have my tatas done, I'll demand the surgical staff to wave sparklers around them...

I'd make this a much more ranty and long post, but I'm dead worn from the events (or lack thereof) of last night. In short, it was one of the best nights of music at Exposure @ White Room yet on top of DJ Blaqstarr MC/DJ-ing. And flirtatiously inviting me to Denny's and then Hotel Victor. Pictures, as always, can be found here and here.

I work mornings every goddamn day till Saturday (I think), so I'm probably not going to be partying too hard this week.* What I will definitely be doing?

Thursday, July 17th

Money$hot @ The Vagabond (click for flyer)

Free before 12am, $10 after

30 NE 14th St

Saturday, July 19th

Poplife's 9-Year Anniversary (!!!) @ White Room (click for flyer)

Tickets available for $15 online

1306 N. Miami Ave

I'm also going to be sharing my favorite song of the moment with you guys:

Time to Pretend - MGMT

* This is a lie.

Gameboy/Gamegirl at Poplife at White Room Review

Another delayed post.

This past Saturday at Poplife, the Australian electro group Gameboy/Gamegirl was booked for a show. Honestly, I had never heard their stuff beforehand so I was feeling pretty accepting no matter what. The kids pretty much had a slightly more extreme-looking "I got this granny jacket at Goodwill for $3"-look in comparison to a lot of the people I see in the usual downtown scene (feel free to rank on me regarding "usual downtown scene" at any point if you were there and saw me wearing my American Apparel rouched tube dress).

The main room remained pretty empty for maybe the first half of a song or so, but soon quickly filled up. Quite honestly, the lot of their songs seemed like looped samples that they just Uffie-style sang-talked over. A technical difficulty, ripped pant leg and exposed-and-drawn-on-fatty-tummy later from them, a few beats were catchy in the end. Unfortunately for the most part I just leaned there against the booth and kept thinking about the time and cost of the flight from Australia to the 305 for this.

I had a chance to meet up and talk with them afterward and tell them that they did indeed act pretty enthusiastic on stage and that the performance itself was enjoyable. I promised an add on MySpace and proceeded to continue dancing with my peoples while Miami Horror's set (not to be mistaken for being from here, also originates from Down Under with GB/GG) was going. Which I enjoyed more that the main showcase.

And now still and motion media from my super sophisticated Canon point-and-shoot:

Gameboy/Gamegirl performing on stage at White Room

Here's some quick UMCB-suggested reading from my boo Duran down at the Miami New Times. Although it's not an after-show review (which you should keep checking back for), it definitely speaks another unmentioned facet of why I'm not too sure about GB/GG.

And for photography that actually clearly shows the show/my extended hipster family, you ought to keep on the New Times site and look at the slideshow or my favorite party pic site, The Popness Party.

A nice picture of Duran and I.Justin Namon/Miami New Times
P.S. As mentioned before, UMCB will be undegoing some changes in content. As of today, MAJOR changes. My tastes have changed as well as what I do on a daily basis. In example, compare this post to the Victoria's Secret PINK Rally at the Raleigh event coverage way earlier.