Just In Case You Were Unaware

Tokidoki is one of the cutest new artist brands out there and makes things so cute that you pee yourself. Observe. Silver bullet with a face. EVERYTHING is better with a face. Omgomgomgcute.

Explore Your Inner Bitch

Dear loyal UMCB readers and haters (big up),

Only few of us have the ability to be a complete bitch -- most of us are able to release some kind of temporary bitchiness. Then there are those that are just straight up pussies and walk away or hide their face when conflicted. I find it hard to classify myself sometimes -- but I'm definitely not the latter unless the situation is incredibly dire and I know there is nothing I can do about it.

The verb "to bitch" usually has a negative connotation. It does. It has no positive connotation that I know of. People (men and women alike) only bitch when something is wrong. My definition of this is to verbally go off on someone. You mouth off, cuss, spit witty comments, scream and talk mad shit. Most adults and pretentious psuedo-intellectuals will tell you crap like, "There are better ways to deal with it" and "Don't stoop to their level". That's all dandy and good if your opponent(s) are obviously on a "low stoop", but what if they think that they're higher than you, off your so-called stoop of morals and are chilling out on your porch leaning against your front door? Ignoring that what they're on is YOUR territory?

Fuck that.

You take your time to convince yourself not to beat the shit out of them when you talk to them next and exercise the goddamn First Amendment and/or whatever constitutes freedom of speech in your country. If you do it well, not only will you feel slightly (results vary) more empowered, you'll get a nice little endorphin rush too. Oh yeah, and you will have most likely pushed that slut/bitch/bastard/asshole/douche back down to the bottom step of the stoop they Smeegle-crawled from.

P.S. I got that necklace I was talking about a while ago. Check it:

The hottest girls at White Room

Shitty Blog, I Know.

Yeah, so I didn't update for a long time mostly because I just kind of think that no one reads this. I may as well be talking to a wall. I think. But I wouldn't know now would I 'cause no one leaves comments. Ugh. You guys. Come on.

WMC is long gone in the world of Clubland. Should I bother to talk about my personal experience? Let's just say it was wild. Like most Lix-nights. Amazingly fun. Bad-ass music (I cannot emphasize that enough!), all my coolest party people and just a raw fucking environment overall. I'm still really annoyed that Digitalism didn't get to go on at Ultra though. It's things like WMC that make me appreciate Miami even more than I already do.

Meanwhile, I've gone completely broke and am looking for a (new) job since the one I currently have isn't really making the bank. Any suggestions? I don't want anything to do with food. Ugh, gross. Plus I had enough ass-kissing food service for picky, mean people at Starbucks already kthx.

I just bought a trendy ass "Coco Chanel is Dead"-themed necklace. Except mine is gonna be black unlike the one in the picture. Again, pushing my monetary limits with my entry-level mall job. Check it.

Image from laniebeth.etsy.com

I also got a haul from Sephora (to be later described and perhaps reviewed) to relieve bad tension that was onset in my head on Saturday at my senior gallery showing. I hate people that bring out my inner bitch when it needs to rest.

IIII Wantttt...

Okay, so most of my friends know this one of my many catch-phrases:
"Everything's better with a face."

No really! Draw a smiley face on your stapler. Isn't it 10,000 times better now?! AUGHH CUTENESSSS.

Yeah, yeah -- it doesn't scream "UPPERCLASSBITCH!", but I definitely have a soft spot for quirky-looking totes in my closet next to Fendi clutch.

Funny Face Tote Bag

Lady Luck Rules OK