uppermiddleclassbitch.

WTF A Podcast?

2009-05-01T18:13:00.003-05:00

I'm sorry I haven't updated. But you just kind of lose the will to when you see that you have at least 80 people who read your blog but never comment. I just so happened to get really bored today and made a podcast.

Yes, a podcast.

You get to hear my super-sassy uppermiddleclassbitch voice. But not too much of it, it's mostly music. Girly, electro music. If this gets a semi-decent response, who knows? Maybe I'll humor you with another one some time!

You can either download it here or here.

Red Red WIIIINE

2009-02-25T23:08:00.012-06:00

Okay so as most of my close friends now, I am a wine-o. Big time. I am also a Jager-o (mmmm, what a delicious sounding breakfast cereal), but that's not as healthy. Yes, one of these -o's is healthy. I will now legitimize my averaging three bottles of wine a week.* It's also some kind of heart awareness month I've heard. And wine helps the heart (in at least two different ways that I can think of), so YAY.

Here are some reasons to stock up on that boxed shit from CVS you like so much.

Antioxidants in red wine called flavanoids have been shown to reduce the risk of heart disease by lowering LDL (bad cholesterol) levels and increasing the levels of good cholestorerol.
According to the researchers at the University of California, certain varietals have more concentrations of flavanoids that others. Of the most common red varietals, Cabernet Savignon has the most flavonoids, followed closely by Petit Syrah and Pinot Noir, then Merlot and red Zinfandel.
Moderate consumption of red wine has been known to raise heart healthy omega-3 levels, and these fatty acids play a role in reducing the risk of heart disease.
Resveratrol, another antioxidant found in red wine, could keep you slim.
Polyphenols, also found in tea, nuts, berries and cocoa, may decrease the risk of Alzheimer's disease.

* Just found out you're supposed to have no more than a single glass a day. No legitimizing for me. Sigh.

M.A.C. Hello Kitty Collection Now On Sale!

2009-02-10T20:13:00.007-06:00

I totally stayed up last night after the clock past midnight to peek a glimpse at the M.A.C. site (it's been recently redesigned all Flash-y like btw) to oogle at the HK collection some. What sucks is that I'm currently too broke right now to add to my gargantuan makeup collection -- I really need to be looking for a new car, haha. Eh. OK, that's not that funny at all.

Anywho, at least go check it out, even if you don't buy anything!

Detailed collection swatch details:

Lipstick

Cute Ster Sheer peachy pink with pearl
Big Bow Sheer brighti ntense blue pink
Fresh Brew Creamed coffee
Fashion Mews Sheer pale lavender
Strayin’ Frosty midtone mint
Most Popular Sheer deep berry

Lipglass

Sweet Strawberry Sheer berry with blue pearl
Mimmy Light creamy ipnk with pink and gold pearl
Nice To Be Nice Sheer bright intense orange with pearl
Nice Kitty Sheer neon pink with blue pearl
She Loves Candy Pale blue pink with gold pearl
Fast Friends Sheer bright intense purple with pearl

Tinted Lip Conditioner

Popster Lively coral pink
Pink Fish Soft neutral pink

Eyeshadow x 4: Lucky Tom ($38.00)

Stylin Midtone violet blue with multi-dimensional pearl
Lucky Tom Dark charcoal brown with gold pearl
Creme Royale Yellow wheast gold
Pardisco Soft bright pinky coral with golden shimmer

Eyeshadow x4: Too Dolly

Too Dolly Frosty midtone mint
Stately Black Rich blue with silver sparkle
Yogurt Soft pale pink
Romping Rich magenta with pink pearl

Glitter Eye Liner

Her Glitz Blackened gold with multi-dimensional glitter
Glitterpuss Orangey bronze with multi-dimensional glitter
Kitty Power Pink with with multi-dimensional glitter
Girl Groove Clear/white teal reflects and with multi-dimensional glitter

Pigment

Milk Frosty pale silvery pink
Deep Blue Green Rich, deep bluish green

Reflects Glitter

Reflects Blue Sparkling blue
Reflects Very Pink Sparkling fuchsia pink

Nail Lacquer

Something About Pink Blue pink fuchsia
On the Prowl Light creamy grey
Vestral White Creamy white

Plush Lash

Plushblack Black

Beauty Powder Blush

Fun & Games Soft orange peach
Tippy Midtone blue pink

Beauty Powder

Tahitian Sand Soft coral peach
Pretty Baby Soft sunny pink with gold

Lash

Hello Kitty Lash Half lash with overlapping hairs to emphasize outer

(Source)

Irrelevant But Hilarious

2009-02-04T00:59:00.004-06:00

I found this via my tumblr friends and I just HAD to share. Found on the window of a Burger King in Miami:

See more of my tumblr (although it's mostly Twitter updates) here.

Paris Already Totally Over Her 'New BFF'

2009-01-22T12:41:00.003-06:00

Yeah, I admit -- I totally watched every single damn episode of Paris Hilton's My New BFF. And I was totally disappointed with her choice. She chose this obnoxious dumbass-looking Palestinian-scarf-wearing 'scene' girl. Not only did she seem not as interested as other girls during the show but she was just... ugh. Definitely not as cool as the the other girls. According to multiple sources, one being E! Online:

Instead of hanging with Brittany, Paris befriended former Danity Kane member and current Playboy cover girl Aubrey O'Day.

Paris reportedly left her supposed BFF at the Hollywood Life House. Later that night, when Brittany caught up with Paris and Aubrey at the Axe party, the twosome left her behind in the bathroom.

"She ran out and was like 'Wait for me! Don't leave me in the bathroom," according to an eyewitness.

Already! LOL, I can totally see that playing out in my head. I can also infer another reason why Paris wants little to do with her: FOR BRITTANY WEARING THIS HIDEOUS HOMEMADE DRESS TO THE VS FASHION SHOW.

She sticks out like a sore thumb.

Even Nicky Hilton can't stand her:

Nicky forbade Paris from staying at Jeffrey Katzenberg's [CEO of Dreamworks] house with her [Brittany], forcing the heir-head to rent a condo and befriend Danity Kane singer Aubrey O'Day.
(Source)

I'm at least glad that she's ditching her though -- she seemed like she was in it for 15 10 5 minutes of fame. I actually considered going to a casting for the show's Part II in NYC, but if after an entire season of a show with an overall broad selection of a bunch of much cooler/nicer/fashionable girls she managed to somehow choose BRITTANY, I won't disappoint myself. I've met and spoken with Paris briefly on two occasions before (once at a press event and once at Mansion) and she's a lot more down-to-earth than TV makes her out to be. I don't know about competing with other girls for the title, but I think her and I would get along just fine, don't you think?

OMFG.

2009-01-15T15:28:00.005-06:00

So the other day I was checking through Temptalia (a great resource for my fellow high-end makeup junkies by the way) and I noticed something wonderful. Something fabulous. The words 'Hello Kitty' and 'M.A.C.' very close to each other. M.A.C. Cosmetics has officially released, as of last week in stores and counters, the Hello Kitty collection. There will also be a three-piece special edition Swarovski-encrusted Kitty Kouture collection available in March. I'm totally willing to blow $90+tax on the compact. It's refillable like all of the other compacts. So excited for the month of March now. What's this you say? It's too expensive? Pretentious? No.

IT'S A MOTHERFUCKING GODSEND, I SAY.

From WWD:
"The Hello Kitty offerings fall into two collections: the Hello Kitty Colour Collection and the more high-end Hello Kitty Kouture. The bulk of the items are in the former category: six shades of lipstick with names like Fashion Mews and Strayin’, each $14; six Lipglass shades, each $14; and two tinted lip conditioners, $14.50 each; two eye shadow palettes, which each contain four shades and retail for $38; two shades of pigment are $19.50 each, and two Reflects Glitter stockkeeping units — one blue, one pink — are $17.50 each. Four Glitter Eye Liners, each $16.50, two shades of Beauty Powder, each $22; three shades of nail polish, each $11; a black mascara, $12, and false lashes, $12, round out the color offerings. Shades range from pinks and turquoises to lavenders and greens."

And now just a few pictures from the original Hello Kitty collection mentioned above:

I'll be purchasing a bit of this collection and will do a review of the color collection a little later on.

P.S. I have changed my Twitter username: twitter.com/misxlix

Suggested NYE Parties

2008-12-30T18:12:00.006-06:00

Oy vey. Things have been super nuts lately! But like, fun kind of nuts. This past week for me included partying with Steve Aoki, Treasure Fingers, all my closest friends... and lots of Grey Goose in my eyes. But mostly in my mouth thankfully as you can see. More documentation of the Steve Aoki show at B.E.D. here.

Photo by Miami New Times/Tony Vargas

On another note, tomorrow's New Years Eve! Don't be caught sitting at home in front of the TV to watch the ball drop... get out and about! Here are a couple affordable or free (!) parties that I think are worth the visit tomorrow night:

1. White Room (map)
NO ENTRANCE FEE/COVER ALL NIGHT! Complimentary champagne toast.
For cabana, table & bottle reservations call (305) 995-5050.
RSVP on Facebook

2. Flight 09 @ FalconTrust Air Hangar (map)
$99 pre-sold tickets. Premium cocktails, great food, jet planes, exotic cars, live DJ’s, and Cirque de Soleil- inspired entertainment. Evening wear required.
Call (786) 278-0606 for tickets.
RSVP on Facebook

3. A Burlesque New Year's Eve @ The Raleigh (map)
A wild, theatrical Poplife party full of outrageous fun; in one of South Beach’s most iconic settings. Featuring an appearance by Amanda Lepore.
$150 tickets available here.
RSVP on Facebook

4. Rokbar New Year's (map)
No cover from 11pm-1am! $20 afterward.
Live set by DJ Gunars. Complimentary champagne toast.
Call (305) 674-4397 for table reservations.

Those are the few things I could find that were under $200. Should be good! I'll be at White Room of course. BE SAFE. I'll see you in 2009!

Steve Aoki in Miami

2008-12-26T01:51:00.004-06:00

I honestly don't think I need to say much about this. It's going to be awesome. You already knew that. It'll be hosted by two of the hottest chicas I know, Coochie Cutters (Clara/Magic Baby and Linda)!

Buy your $25 tickets here.

Oh Shit

2008-12-24T03:35:00.003-06:00

Wait. Hold on. Is it seriously Christmas tomorrow? I've been so out of it lately. Too much partying. Well I guess you all know what this means. Time for some of this (right-click and Save As, bitches). IT'S A NECESSITY.

Wow, that looks nothing like Mariah Carey. Has it been that long? 14 years, geez.

Moving Again

2008-12-16T22:07:00.004-06:00

I decided last week that I'm going to be moving right on back to Miami. It's not that I don't like Chicago -- it's a cool city, seriously -- I'm just not feeling it as much as my hometown. I'm also not feeling all this damn cold weather. I'll be visiting Chicago and whatnot but hopefully before the end of December I'll be completely moved out of my apartment in The Loop and be back in swing in the 305. I won't be gone forever though. I'll occasionally come by for good parties I hear about and stuff.

I plan to travel to parties all over this winter and spring. Places I plan to hit up are NYC, L.A., Melbourne, and possibly Atlanta! Let's hope I get a new camera this Christmas so I can document my craziness and stop relying on party photographers. I really do appreciate people like Jipsy, Justin, Bronques, Clayton, etc. Thanks for capturing the memoriesss.

See you bitches this weekend! Hit me up on Twitter/Facebook/MySpace/here/whatever and let me know what's going down. Let's partyyy.

Happy Birthday, Veronica!

2008-12-15T16:13:00.001-06:00

Why you should go to White Room tonight:

1. It's my girl Veronica's birthday (she's pretty awesome).
2. It's Quentin Tarantino-themed.
3. It's FREE.
4. There will be 2-4-1 drinks from 10pm-11pm and 3am-4am.
5. A documentary filming will be in progress!
6. You know you want to dance you ass off.

Unfortunately I won't be able to make it to be Jungle Julia (I'm in Chicago for a few more days), but you should go and dance your ass off!

Update

2008-12-13T02:20:00.008-06:00

Hey! Yes, I know, I totally suck at updating. I've just been really busy with life-things. At least I'm not one of those people that takes time aside out of their real lives to blog once (or twice) a day. Plus, I'm not quite sure what to talk about when I'm not all up in the parties.

I'm 90% sure I'm going to be moving back to Miami permanently this winter. Chicago's cool and all but it's getting kind of old (and cold). I'm just not feeling it anymore. Plus, all my people are in the 305!

I'll be flying back to Miami for the holidays (and again, to probably start moving back) on Monday night.

If you don't have me added on Facebook, MySpace, Twitter or tumblr yet, do it! It's all on the right side of this page. >

Lix Says Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T14:54:00.008-06:00

Photo by Lex

Last night was pretty awesome. Rye Rye is super hot live (especially when you're shaking it to the ground about ten feet away from her on-stage)! Check out the 'HARDCORE GIRLS' photo set on 8mts and see if you can find a picture of me. I'm too busy getting ready for a dinner I can't enjoy to look right now. Being vegan is rough.

Also, I drew a picture on the plane ride over to Miami last night for you guys. I'll scan it later.

Tonight -- be sure to dance off the calories you've stuffed yourself with at White Room for The Freaks Come Out at Night! ~~Featuring the debut of Coochie Cutters (my girls Linda Attias and Clara Infante) as a rap duo~~. Stravinsky, Damaged Goods, MGA, Cosmo and Diego de la Vega complete the lineup tonight. 18+ are welcome and it's only a $5 cover with 2-4-1 drinks alllll niiiiight loooong.

I Know What I'm Thankful For.

2008-11-25T11:02:00.006-06:00

Here is one of many things to do for the week of Thanksgiving. Ergo, be thankful for parties.

In my opinion, the heavy hitter will be tomorrow in Miami when M.I.A.'s 17-year-old club girl, Rye Rye, and a pioneer (he could be a father, he's 40!) of Baltimore ass-shaking tracks, Scottie B, get together. It's a b-more attack! Intense. I'm super excited. I need to get on booking an afternoon flight so I can definitely make it (I get flights that arrive in Miami after 10pm for some reason).

Neighborhood booty-skaking attack to be exact!

Spiderpussy presents Thanksgiving Eve B-More Attack
White Room, 1306 N. Miami Ave.
Wednesday, November 26
Rye Rye with Scottie B Live, plus Johnny Strokes & AL B Rotten
$10, Doors at 10pm

More holiday/ArtBasel Miami parties to come...!

REMEMBER POP-UP VIDEO!?

2008-11-20T19:16:00.010-06:00

Oops, I think I've been posting to my tumblr more than I've been posting here. If you're ever bored, you should look through that. While I'm bored (not doing work I'm supposed to be doing) I just sit on my laptop and discover all kinds of random shit of interest.

Like today I came upon MTV Music. Maybe people started bitching about how MTV is no longer Music Television but Whiny-Rich-Bitch-Reality-Shows Television. Whatever it was that sparked the idea, it's a good one. Now instead of looking to YouTube for shitty quality music videos spammed by strange comments in foreign languages you can just look to MTV Music's database of pretty much every music video they have shown.

Um, other than that I've been addicted to online shopping as of late. Or at least online browsing due to my currently being semi-broke (mmm, graphic design supplies). I've been obsessing over all the holiday collections on Sephora...

All We Do Is Party (ah-ah-ah-ahh)!

2008-11-11T22:29:00.017-06:00

Photos from everyoneisfamous.com

Can I get a look past the rip from an overplayed MSTRKRFT track and get an "amen"?

Finally an exhibition that credits a few of our local hardworking photographers. Time to throw up some appreciation for the ones that capture all the fun moments for you -- managing to make you look like the hot hipster you are despite being drunk (and quite possibly wired) as fuck and sweaty in ultra-tight American Apparel. You just gotta give it up.

That being said, I'll see you at All We Do Is Party: A Look at the Art of Party Photography. The work of Clayton Hauck, Geoff Adler, Nem Perez, Brandon Breaux, Lindsay Apatow and more will be blown up monster-size (some 5' tall!) for your SLR-conscious eyes. Oh yeah, and there will be food, drinks and a live photobooth! Sets will be from Kid Color and Tewz. Fun stuff. Did I mention it was completely FREE? The exhibition will be taking place at All Rise Gallery (1370 W. Grand Ave.) and run from 8pm to 11pm. And like all things party-related, there is an after-party at Angels and Kings (710 N. Clark Ave.) with a versus set with Skyler and Zebo. This will be photographed by all of those included in the earlier show. Your drunken face is bound to show up somewhere on the interwebz.

Again, both things are FREE FREE FREE! So go!
www.allwedoisparty.com

Matt & Kim in Chicago

2008-11-11T03:48:00.005-06:00

Huzzah, the super-adorable Matt & Kim are going to be touring not one, but two nights here in Chicago! If you haven't heard of them or haven't heard any of their new stuff, I highly suggest you take a listen and download their new track, "Daylight", for free on greenlabelsound.com.

Tour dates are as follows for the Chicago area:

Tuesday November 11th
Subterranean 
2011 West North Ave. 
with BF and Hollywood Holt, $10, 9pm

Wednesday November 12th
Subterranean 
2011 West North Ave. 
With BF, $10, all ages. This is an early show, 6pm!

Unfortunately the tour doesn't span too far out so they won't be in Miami. Bug them on the their MySpace to do a show in the 305 (or see other tour dates) and show them some love!

Meanwhile, I'm freezing my ass off and wishing I was back home 90 miles from Cuba. I've been updating my tumblr a lot recently, so be sure to check that out! Sorry I got lazy with the main site.

This is it, you guys.

2008-11-04T18:33:00.009-06:00

Tonight is a historic night. It seems that mostly all of Chicago is hyped up for Obama's last campaign rally right here in our very own Grant Park. If you managed to get an official ticket to enter the actual area where Obama will be speaking, ughimsojealousfuckyou. If not, I really think you should head out there anyway - - be a part of this! This is a world-changing day, event and decision that we Americans all need to recognize. Do be careful though if you decide to head out there, there is to be an estimated one million people in attendance. Uh, again. Historic.

Here's a super helpful graphic taken from the Chicago Tribune site to help you navigate the area. You can click this image to enlarge it.

I'm still at work the 9th floor of a building looking at the Art Institute and I can hear the cheering already. I'll be there tonight covering the event. So far, all I've got for you are these pictures by my window at my desk from about an hour ago (I have a pretty nice view aside fromt the reflection of computers, sorry about that).

Millenium Park and a high-rise building that got clever with lighting!

More clever lighting from the left facade of the Art Institute of Chicago.

For more information about the rally in Chicago tonight please visit the Chicago Tribune website. To watch states hopefully light up blue, check out the live updating map on CNN.

Rosa Parks sat so Martin Luther King could walk, Martin Luther King walked so Obama could run, Obama's running so we all can fly.

PLEASE Vote Tomorrow.

2008-11-03T20:04:00.003-06:00

If you haven't already voted early. If you don't know where to vote tomorrow, use this. Just punch in your address and it'll give you all the information you need, including a polling place you can go to.

Currently In Miami

2008-11-01T21:45:00.004-05:00

Photo by Justin Namon

Hope your Halloween was as fun as mine. I flew back to Miami last night and went to Heathrow with my friend Duran to see Chromeo* last night! More pictures from the event are here.

(Download Chromeo's super fire remix of Treasure Finger's "Cross the Dancefloor"!)

After I had my fill of Chromeo I headed to The Vagabond for the Dos Equis burlesque-y circus-y themed party. That was fun too. Pictures from that event are also on the Miami New Times site.

Tonight be sure to stop by the Dios de los Muertos/post-Halloween thing at White Room and give me a hug. Residents Mike Deuce and Aramis will be there as usual along with WVUM and Team Rojas in the Red Room. Doors at 10, no cover before midnight as usual otherwise it's $10. Drink specials all night long! Cool flyer too. Click it to see it bigger.

See you tonight.

Exposure Tonight @ White Room

2008-10-20T02:25:00.006-05:00

Click to see it bigger.

Ah, one of my favorite parties. Too bad I'm freezing my ass off in Chicago right now (I got hardcore hailed on Friday night on the way to a party)! The great usual DJs will be going crazy in the red room at White Room (1306 N. Miami Ave.) tonight on the 1 and 2 for the weekly Exposure party. Don't show up if you don't like dancing, seriously. Go and meet yourself some cute electro hipster girls, get your 2-4-1 drank on and be sure to say hey to my girl Krystle for me!

RSVP for the event via Facebook.

Pictures From Last Night

2008-10-19T18:48:00.003-05:00

Check out the Miami New Times site for more of Justin Namon's documentation of last night's Spin The Vote party at White Room!

Spin the Vote Tonight!

2008-10-18T18:42:00.006-05:00

If you're in Miami this weekend and are savvy about getting the democratic vote out (Obama '08!), then you really should hit up Poplife's Spin The Vote event tonight at White Room (1306 N. Miami Ave)! DJ Arthur Baker (best known for his work with artists like Afrika Bambaataa, Planet Patrol, New Order, Cyndi Lauper, Bob Dylan, Beastie Boys, Al Green etc.) will be making an appearance to spin a special electro set for the night with John Robie. Resident DJ Aramis and DJ Induce will also be there dropping hot tracks while reps from Obama's campaign and congressman Robert Wexler get you hyped about the upcoming election. Make sure you go! There's no cover and a 2-4-1 drink deal before midnight.

If you haven't registered to vote, do it! No joking around, get on that shit.

Chicago: If you haven't bought your >Yelle tickets yet, do it now. The show's on Tuesday at Logan Square Auditorium (2539 N Kedzie Blvd).

NARS Releases 2 New Sexy Kits

2008-10-13T15:20:00.007-05:00

The Safer Set is available on sephora.com for $37.

Earlier this month, the high-end cosmetic brand, NARS, whose best-selling blush color is called "Orgasm" comes The Safer Set. Along with the cream stick multiple in the "Orgasm" shade come two branded condoms and a little black book of ways to say 'no' so you can let the cute-but-not-THAT-cute boy know you're not down to get down without getting any blood on your hands. I'm semi-obsessed with NARS, so I'll be planning on getting this for it's limited-edition value.

No kids, it's not just a ha-ha -- a portion of the sale benefits Amfar programs to promote global safe sex education initiatives. Cheers to the man behind the brand, Francois Nars!

Also, if you guys don't have me added on MySpace yet, do it! I love friends.

Chicago's Street System Explained

2008-10-11T20:51:00.008-05:00

You know how when you get off of the CTA you see the signs that would say for example, "Addison 3600N 940W"? If you're not a local (or maybe you are and just never bothered to decipher it), this can be ridiculously confusing. Sure you're on Addison Street, but what the fuck are all these numbers? I mean, what do you care?

So I've figured it out.

Chicago's gridded street system was originally laid out by the Chicago Board of Alderman in 1908. All addresses in the city are numbered from the center point intersection of State Street (which runs North and South) and Madison Avenue (which runs east and west) in The Loop area. For every 1 mile outward in any direction there are 8 city blocks. Henceforth, every 800 in numbers is a mile according the the "hundreds" block system. That's why you might hear directions that sound like, "about two thousand north on Western" or "twenty-four hundred west on Augusta" which both describe locations near the intersection of Western Avenue (2400 W) and Augusta Boulevard (1000 N).

That's pretty much the main idea with the grid system. Obviously it's near impossible to memorize the order of the streets by name, so here are some references that you may want to look into. Look around 24-hour diners or call 1 (800) 326-5399 for Turner's Expanded Chicagoland Street Guide, a staple piece of bound matter for anyone looking to get around with ease in the city. You can also take a look at the Chicago Neighborhoods and City Street Guide to get a better bearing on the "hundreds" grid system.

If all else fails and you can't figure it out, go to the nearest CTA employee manned next to the turnstiles at a train entrance and bug them about it, they're supposedly schooled to the teeth about the area. Good luck finding your way to the club and enjoy your Saturday night!

YELLE'S American Tour!

2008-10-09T22:30:00.007-05:00

There's definitely no reason for you not to see the French electro cutie superstar, Yelle, in Miami! She's on her "C'est Amerique" tour and will be rocking the Polish American Club (1250 NW 22nd Ave) tomorrow. It's all ages and only $15. Buy your last minute tickets here. Yelle will also be coming to Chicago on the 21st -- I'll be there, you can count on it!

"Ce Jeu" (Check out the Nerf bullet-adorned sunglasses!)

"Je Veux Te Voir"

C'est Amerique tour dates are as follows:

Sat 10/11 : Orlando, FL @ The Social

Mon 10/13 : Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club

Tue 10/14 : New York, NY @ Webster Hall

Wed 10/15 : Boston, MA @ The Roxy
Tue 10/21 : Chicago, IL @ Logan Square Auditorium

Wed 10/22 : Milwaukee, WI @ Turner Hall
Fri 10/24 : Denver, CO @ Ogden Theatre
Sat 10/25 : Salt Lake City, UT @ Urban Lounge

Mon 10/27 : Seattle, WA @ Neumos
Tue 10/28 : Vancouver, BC @ Commodore Ballroom

Wed 10/29: Portland, OR @ Berbati's

Fri 10/31 : San Francisco, CA @ Mezzanine

Sat 11/01 : Los Angeles, CA @ Henry Fonda Theatre

Sun 11/02: San Diego, CA @ Beauty Bar

P.S. Now when you search the acronymn "UMCB" in Google, uppermiddleclassbitch shows up on the first page! It may be last on the list, but still!! Keep visiting the site, tell your friends, and show some love! There will also be a drawing for a free giveaway when the visitor count reaches 2,000. Sign up on the mailing list (on the left under my picture) to double your chances of winning. Tell your friends about the site and keep checking back! Love you guys!

Interview with The Fire and Reason's Bella Saona!

2008-10-07T17:58:00.002-05:00

Many a Saturday night ago at Poplife (every Saturday at White Room), I had the pleasure of meeting and hanging out with the gorgeous Bella and Steve of the New York electro-rock band, The Fire and Reason (TFaR).

If you're down with catchy rifts, pretty vocals and good clean dancing music (who isn't?), check them out! Give 'em some love on their MySpace! If you're in Chicago, the Kinetic Playground is located at 1113 W. Lawrence -- only steps away from the CTA Red Line 'Lawrence' stop!

Download their sampler here. (.zip format)

Miss Lix: So how did you first become interested in making music?

Bella Saona: I've been singing all my life. I went to performing arts school for voice. Music is my salvation!

Miss Lix: What performing arts school did you go to?

Bella Saona: Laguardia School of Performing Arts. The school the 80s show "FAME" was based on, hahaha.

Miss Lix: Did you meet the other members of TFaR at school?

Bella Saona: Nope... I went to a show with my sister and Steve was singing with his old band, Radiate. He was the lead singer and the guitarist mastermind. I walked up to him after the show and said "Hi, I'm Bella. I'm a singer too..." He gave me a CD and a T-shirt when I signed their mailing list, and we started e-mailing, working on music together -- So thats how I met steve. Lee, our other band member has known Steve since they were five. They had played in a bunch of bands together.

Miss Lix: That's cool, so you all have a background in music. So with all of you guys' previous musical talent, what do you think influenced TFaR's sound?

Bella Saona: Everything I think -- music, art, fashion, movies, life, love, sex. We wanted to meld a bunch of different genres like rock, dance, pop, and electro to make something thats fun, hot, and dancey!

Miss Lix: Yeah, I totally get that from the "Shut Up, Dance!" EP. I noticed that you have a couple songs on there that have Spanish lyrics, what's up with that?

Bella Saona: We also have a few baile funk songs in Portuguese. I am Brazilian/Italian, so I speak Spanish and Portuguese. I listen to a lot of singers like Shakira, Marc Anthony etc. so it was never a question of not singing in Spanish. My music is an extension of me so its natural for me to sing in those languages.

Miss Lix: Are Steve and Lee fluent in Spanish?

Bella Saona: Steve is, not Lee. He's Ecuadorian. We are both proud of our Latino roots, and have played a lot of Latin-based parties and stuff. The show we are doing in Chicago is a Latin/electro night.

Miss Lix: Oh, awesome. I'll totally be there! Now for a kind of fun random question... tell me about the craziest crowd you've had.

Bella Saona: Easy. We played an all ages show in the bronx with about 250 kids. It was in the auditorium of a church with no A/C. These kids were going nuts and stage diving the WHOLE SHOW! I even stage-dove twice, hahaha. We were all dripping sweat. It was insane. There were even little 12- and 13-year-old kids hitting on me! It was a trip.

Miss Lix: Haha, speaking of which, how old are all of you guys?

Bella Saona: I'm 19, and both Steve and Lee are 28.

Miss Lix: Talk about an age gap! Do you feel like they overshadow your experience at all?

Bella Saona: Haha, not really. I write the lyrics and melodies that make the songs hot!

Miss Lix: That's impressive. What's the process for lyric-writing for you? Like, are any of these songs about real-life experiences?

Bella Saona: Steve writes a beat, we listen to it in the car, I start coming up with lyrics and melodies, and then we demo it in our studio. Some of the songs are based on personal experience. Some are just fun party songs.

Miss Lix: Well I love the entire EP! Thanks for your time, Bella! Anything you wanna say to the readers of uppermiddleclassbitch?

Bella Saona: Yes, come to our show when we come to Chicago on December 6th at the Kinetic Playground! We wanna ROCK YOU! Thanks babe, you rock!

Sign Up For The Chicago UMCB Mailing List!

2008-10-03T13:39:00.003-05:00

Sign up on the uppermiddleclassbitch. mailing list for Chicago event flyers, reviews, blog updates and contests (want the Miami newsletter)?

Comment on this post with your name, location and e-mail address. Only I will be able to see it. I promise I won't junk up your mailbox/sell your information.

XOXO
Miss Lix

Sign Up For The Miami UMCB Mailing List!

2008-10-03T13:31:00.009-05:00

Sign up on the uppermiddleclassbitch. mailing list for Miami event flyers, reviews, blog updates and contests (want the Chicago newsletter)?

Comment on this post with your name, location and e-mail address. Only I will be able to see it. I promise I won't junk up your mailbox/sell your information.

XOXO
Miss Lix

I am, You are, We are Uncle Karl.

2008-10-01T21:26:00.007-05:00

Karl Lagerfeld does it again for his Spring/Summer 2009 collection in the motherland of courture during Fashion Week. Here are a few highlights from the show:

And my personal favorite... I hope the darlings on Canal Street get their contacts in China to do this one.

All photos by Flynet Pictures.

And free music for you! This is my current favorite track.
Santogold - You'll Find A Way (Switch & Sinden Remix)

The Most Important Holiday of All!

2008-09-30T02:51:00.007-05:00

My birthday is on Saturday -- let the celebration of excess begin!

You're invited to join me for my birthday at Richie Rich's Miami Beach Fashion Week (Funkshion) show. Richie Rich, a once-90s NYC club kid, ~~is one-half of the designer duo (with Traver Rains) that is Heatherette (I don't know what the fuck is up with the site, but that's the official one)~~. Sorry guys, my info was wrong -- it's strictly Richie's show!

The show begins at 8pm this Saturday at the Miami Beach Botanical Garden (2000 Convention Center Drive). Fisico by Christina Ferrari will follow shortly thereafter. Funkshion is really a wonderful event, whether you like fashion or not. It's a tantilizing evening of pretty people and usually imported Italian beer (Peroni, specifically).

Then throw on you FRUiTs-wear and thong-sandals for Grace and I's Asian Pop Culture-themed party at White Room (1306 N. Miami Ave). Dressing up isn't required for entry. Shit, I don't even know what I'm going to wear to my own party. I joked about it earlier and just said that maybe I should just show up in one of my usual minis seeing as I am of Asian descent. I win.

RSVP for White Room here on Facebook (I didn't write that event description...) and RSVP for the fashion show via brendon@funkshion.com.

I'm only going to be in Miami from Friday night until Monday afternoon, so make sure you come see me and wish me a happy birthday. Presents? I like neon pink things, glitter, vegan baked goods, rare electro vinyl and Jagermeister.

I'm going to do it up really big, as usual.

Fucking A

2008-09-18T22:26:00.005-05:00

Sorry for like, the complete standstill in posts. I've been ridiculously busy in Chicago and honestly have yet to really get at least knee-deep in the Chi-town club scene. I'll let you guys know when shit goes down here. I will be heading back to Miami for the weekend of my birthday for a few parties (all of which everyone is invited to).

Please visit the following for updates in Miami (including events and party pix):

MiamiNights
8MTS
Nefarious Girl
The Popness Party

To keep up with me add me on Facebook, MySpace, and Twitter. I'm also going to attempt to get back to at least updating my Tumblr. Mmmmmm online social networks.

P.S. Come visit my place in Chicago. I'll serve you cupcakes on top of a pink platter that has been sprinkled with loose glitter and a mirror heart.

Eek! Mini-Hiatus!

2008-08-20T01:58:00.004-05:00

Due to my temporary 3-month move to Chicago this coming Saturday morning (ugh, I'm going to cry on the plane anyway), I may not update for a bit. But you should be used to that, I'm pretty bad with updating.

Either way, here are some things you have to look forward to on UMCB once I settle in near Magnificent Mile (foreseeable overdrafting!):

A long-awaited interview with vocalist, Bella Saona of The Fire and Reason
Crazy pictures from my official going-away party at White Room
Why there should be a difference in the daytime and nighttime contents of your bag
Beginning to my track progress on the Karl Lagerfeld Diet
Miami AND Chicago Shit-to-Do (nightlife and events)

I will still definitely be updating my Twitter via texts and maybe my brand-spanking-new tumblr, so follow me on those in the meantime!

Wish me luck with flying with my liquids (97 lipglosses, counted today) and sharp weapons (stilettos)! Love you all!

Reminder!

2008-08-15T18:47:00.007-05:00

My official going-away party is tonight at White Room.

There's NO cover, open bar (free vodka!) 10-11 and first 10 minutes of every hour, the best DJs: Johnny Strokes, AL B Rotten, and De La Vega (Diego + Dalton), and you should should come to see me for one of my last party nights in Miami, bitches!

1306 N. Miami Ave

Miami, FL 33136

(Find it on Google Maps)

Be there or else you're stupid.

The flyer is in the previous post.

I'm going to cry in the airport...

2008-08-14T16:14:00.005-05:00

...and it's gonna be like a movie. I'll hug my parents, grab my bags, and board the plane in slow-mo. And the guy sitting next to me on the plane will be playing some sap Coldplay or Keane song loud enough to be the soundtrack to it all.

And then I'll get over it and become semi-famous in a new city.

I will be moving to Chicago for three or so months in 8 days (leaving Saturday morning). Although Chicago seems like an awesome city, my heart will always be in Miami. I'm going to miss this city so much! I'll even miss the assholes that weave in and out of lanes on the 836, the crazy bums that I pay off to look after my car (Troy the Wonderboy and Al, specifically) and the tourist-littered beaches. But most of all I'm going to miss my PARTY PEOPLE. What will I do without you guys? Geez.

Well, you all should know me already -- I'm having a bomb-ass going-away party tomorrow courtesy of White Room and my favorite men at MiamiNights. You need to come by and show me some lovin' before I go! Alas, this will not be my last night out at the clubs (I may host eXposure on Monday at White Room again) but it is the official party for me. It's also going to be Dalton's last night in Miami as well so you really should be there for his last set in the 305. Bring all of your friends, it's going to be popping! I whipped up a quick little flyer yesterday for it:

(Click the flyer to see it larger.)

And of course, the obligatory shit-to-do list, new and improved with Facebook event links (if available):

Thursday, August 14th (today)

Money$hot @ The Vagabond (flyer)

Feat. Los Borrachos Tour w/ DJ Craze & Dave Nada

2-4-1 drinks 10-11pm and 3-4am, $10 cover

(RSVP on Facebook)

APT Presents Red Room Thursdays (flyer)

Feat. Ray Milian, Jonathan & Josh

2-4-1 drinks 1-2am, comp shot for all @ 2am, 25 cent cover (?!)

(RSVP on Facebook)

Guilty Pleasures @ Aero Bar

Feat. DJ Ross One, Mark Leventhal & Artime

RSVP@aerobarmiami.com

(RSVP on Facebook)

Friday, August 15th

My Going-Away Party/Fracture @ White Room (flyer is above, duh)

Feat. DJs Johnny Strokes, AL B Rotten and De La Vega

Open bar 10-11pm and the first 10 minutes of every hour!

(RSVP on Facebook)

Saturday, August 16th

Poplife Presents: Paid Vacation @ White Room (flyer)

With IHMDJ and a live performance from Juiceboxxx

Fly Girl boutique in the Red Room, open bar 10-11pm

(RSVP on Facebook)

Jose & Branden Present: THISISIT @ Miami Art Space (flyer)

No alchy, but an awesome dance party in an awesome space nontheless!

Feat. DJs Dasme, Berryteback, Soobwoop & Rangotango

(RSVP on Facebook)

Coming soon on UMCB... an interview with The Fire and Reason!

SEE YOU GUYS TOMORROW NIGHT AT WHITE ROOM!

P.S. If you don't have me added on MySpace yet, get at me!

eXposure Tonight @ White Room with DJ Scottie B!

2008-08-11T18:17:00.004-05:00

(Click the flyer to see it larger.)

UMCB is turning into a bulletin board for flyers for shit going down at White Room, haha.

You need to come by tonight for eXposure at White Room! We managed to get the amazing Scottie B all the way from B-more (that's Baltimore for all you non-hipsters) to spin tonight! 2-4-1 specials and only $3 cover. It's going to be amazing. Oh yeah, and I'm hosting again so I'll be there to dance and act rowdy with you. What more could you want, honestly?

P.S. Last night I locked my keys in my car at 5:30am like a fucking idiot. NEVER EVER call a locksmith at that time. That shit cost me $187 for a guy who barely spoke English to jimmy my shit open with a clipboard and a wire hanger in 30 seconds. Henceforth I'm going to be kind of acting broke-and-cheap for a couple days. Lowerclassbitch. But only till Friday, hopefully.

An Awesome New Friday Party!

2008-08-08T19:32:00.007-05:00

Hopefully I'll see all of you tonight at The White Room for FRACTURE, a new weekly Friday party with the most ridick open bar plan. Get this: free drinks from 12am-1am AND during the first 15 minutes of every hour onward.

The flyer is a little scary, but it's not a secret Goth Night. Promise. Maybe it's called Fracture cause you'll get so mad trashed you'll leave with broken bones? Not sure. Either way, be there and give me a drunken hug! No cover here, duh.

Plus my boy Dalton is going to be DJ-ing this shit, check him out and download some of his tracks and mixes! He won't be here in the 305 much longer, be sure to come tonight and check him out.

Click the flyer to enlarge it!

FINALLY Murk'd Pics and Shit to Do This Weekend!

2008-08-07T14:55:00.011-05:00

Okay so am I the biggest procrastinator or what?? Here the pictures are, finally, from "The Big Sleep" Murk'd art party at PS14 from last Thursday. It's been a year since this happened in Clubland.

Fellow model Sam and myself got "bodypainted" (more like, graffiti-doodled and taped-up) by local arteests AholSniffsGlue and 131/Data-D while Salami Fingaz ripped it up behind us with everything from downtempo houseyness to Wu Tang.

With exhibit curators and masterminds Parable and Movie Boy.

(click for larger versions)

Photos by Chipi of CoolJunkie.com, check there for more pictures of the event!

And now for the original UMCB "Shit to Do" section of this update (* indicates a weekly party):

Thursday, August 7th (today)

Pimpin' In The Red Room @ White Room (flyer)

Feat DJs Otto von Schirach, Peasants with Feathers and more

18+ w/ID $5 Cover. Drink specials all night, doors open @ 10

Money$hot @ The Vagabond * (flyer)

Welcoming back DJ Contra from the Coldplay/Santogold tour!

2-4-1s from 10-11pm and 3-4am, doors open @ 10

Saturday, August 9th

AquaBooty Raleigh Hotel Summer Sessions (flyer)

Feat. NYC's DJ Mr. V and more. 21+ only.

~~I have 2 poolside event tickets to give away, e-mail/IM me if you want them~~ GONE!

Otherwise RSVP for guestlist to tomas@aquabooty.com for the pool party

Buy pre-sale Penthouse after-party tickets here

Poplife presents Popart @ White Room * (flyer)

$1 SNOWCONES!!!!!!!! Haha, perfect for a steamy Miami night.

And no cover plus 2-4-1s before 12.

More shit to do coming soon!

P.S. Want more traffic on your nightlife/party pic/fashion/music/slightly-related site? Me too. Exchange links with me!

Umm...

2008-08-05T23:44:00.004-05:00

I was just about to do an update with those pictures from PS14 on Thursday night (where I got "bodypainted") when I realized that I haven't slept in about 40 hours. So I stopped, and said I'll do this tomorrow. Check and follow me on my Twitter meanwhile for more sporadic random updates on what I'm doing throughout the day. I often update from my phone in the car or when I'm getting my pedi and I'm bored. I'm funny, promise.

Because I don't want to seem like a complete tease with these pictures I've been promising, here's a picture of me getting graffiti'd up by Gustavo from the back:

Click it for the larger version.

Frontal pictures tomorrow!!!! WOOO!!

And now I'm thinking that I'm still slightly out of my mind because I'm writing a post about deciding to not write a post because I need to go to sleep before I die. Look at me, still rambling on and on about shit you don't particularly care about!

So I will now go to sleep without really having much sense of what time it is and pretend to be a normal human being.

What's the longest you've gone without sleep?

TGIS! The Week In Review..

2008-08-01T15:58:00.013-05:00

So while I wait for what seems like forever for the pictures from last night's Murk'd party "The Big Sleep" at PS14, here's the week in review.

I'll throw some pictures at you from this past Monday's Exposure party which just so happened to be a panty party AND Krystle's birthday as well. I anticipated only a couple girls showing up in underwear, but hell, it got super-packed, super-fast. A birthday platter of cookies and brownies adorned the corner of the bar while The Unicorn King graced our presence as usual as more and more of us (including myself) stripped down to our underthings. DJ Johnny Stokes helped take our minds off of the room being a hellpit with some awesome jams.

What's that? You want pictures? Unfortunately, our normal party pic go-to, Justin, was absent so we had a kind of community photography effort. Phear our superior point-and-shoot skillzz!!!!11!!

... I don't know what you're thinking, but I'm sure it's along the lines of, "Dayum." Perhaps.

Tuesday and Wednesday I stayed in (or at least from the downtown area). Thursday was Money$hot at the Vagabond. The backyard was closed off the entire night, which allowed for the air conditioning to fully fill and circulate through both rooms. I was celebrating my friend Stephanie's birthday that night, so I wasn't all too much of the cynical socialite I usually am. I mean, it was your normal Money$hot. Indie rock, you know? Not really my thing. Whatevs.

Friday was the new Sound Clash night at The White Room with DJs Johnny Stokes, Dalton and Diego O. There was something weird going on at first (electrical, I think) so we all got in around 10:30-ish instead of 10, when the open bar was supposed to begin. Unfortunately, the party was a little bit of a bust at first. The crowd came, drank, and went when open bar was over at 12. And Johnny Stokes couldn't spin cause of an equipment fuck-up. Dalton tore it up meanwhile. Then we had a surprise set from DJ GRRRPWR! And then it all went dead around 3-something. Whatever, I had fun. Heard The Vagabond was dead for the most part too.

And then Saturday I made sure to hit up the entire holy trinity... Poplife/Rock the Bells Afterparty at White Room, Back Door Bamby at the Vagabond, and PS14 for Otto von Schirach. Poplife was decent, but there were more people at Back Door. I walked in during the middle of a performance, chilled out for a bit in the back room (the front room music isn't really my thing), and then wandered over to PS14 in time to watch the last half hour of Nastie and Otto being crazy on-stage. It was a pretty eventful night.

Oh and shit ~~to do~~ you have to do (especially seeing these pictures from the last one...) :

I'm hosting that shit bitches! (Just never call me Alexandra. Lix, please.)

Lose Five Pounds In Five Days: The Club Junkie's Way

2008-07-25T22:41:00.011-05:00

In just five easy steps:

Don't sleep. When not at the club, keep yourself awake and busy by working a day-job that doesn't pay you nearly as much as you deserve.
Gain the little carb intake you want from comp'd drinks.
Go to the gym at least four times a week and run on the treadmill for at least 3 hours.
Take your smoking habit to a new non-social level.
Black coffee = breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Tip: Develop a dangerous, illegal habit.

You'll wake up in a few days and voila! you're tiny. The proof will be in the party pics!

And now, because I'm fresh out of sarcasm and am feeling too shitty to write something of more substance, I leave you with UMBC-recommended shit to do!

Saturday, July 26th

Poplife @ White Room (click for flyer)

Live performance from Astari Night

2-4-1 drinks before 12, doors open at 10

1306 N. Miami Ave

Monday, July 28th

Design and Architecture Senior High Summer Showcase

Featuring the best works of students from the DASH summer program

Snacks served! 6 - 7:30 p.m.

DASH Gallery, 4141 N.E. 2 Ave

(Fuck the M-DCPS budget cuts, support the arts! And after you do that, drop your pants for...)

Exposure @ White Room (click for Krystle's flyer and panty flyer)

Krystle's birthday/Miami's panty party!

2-4-1 drinks 10-11 and 3-4

1306 N. Miami Ave

Speaking of Exposure, check out this sexy promo video Andrews Lorenzana made:

See you bitches at the clubbbb!

Irritable Line Syndrome

2008-07-19T16:46:00.005-05:00

So I'm mostly over going to the beach clubs (except I have yet to go to Aero). Why? Because of dumb semi-predictable shit like last night. In case you were sleeping under a rock, Jamie Lidell performed last night for a map magazine/Poplife event. I'm not quite sure of the exact people who were promoting this but they did a damn good job. It also couldn't have been too hard considering this is like, the ultimate Poplife weekend with the aforementioned anniversary party tonight in my last post. Now, let me begin my bitching.

I headed out on my way to Heathrow from home around 11. I got to Heathrow at 12:30 due to being stuck in standstill traffic on the causeway. Literally standstill. I would've taken a picture cause it looked crazy, but I didn't have the camera. I rolled down the windows, blasted a Designer Drugs mix and sat on the hood of my parked car for a good fifteen minutes. Turns out there was some shitty accident up ahead near the fork on the side for Alton Road. So I arrived at the place with melty-makeup and frizzed hair. Of course, ten minutes after standing in line to say that I'm a +1, the goddamn fire marshal rolls up. One of the girls at the door tells me that there's alarm trouble on the inside and that they've reached max capacity (400-something). The doors were then closed, and no one was allowed in (unless you were buying a minimum of two bottles). I stayed out there for quite some time to try to make that shitty wait on the bridge worth it, but eventually just was annoyed enough to get my car and drive to The Vagabond where I had some friends already and to meet some people who were leaving Heathrow.

Dear Miami Beach, why must you be shitty to me every time I see you? Can't we just be friends and get along?

And I'm not going to go on and on about this 'cause I kind of already did to like, the world but -- what the FUCK was up with 2 Live Crew deciding to sell out for the show at White Room on Thursday? And why was The Vagabond empty? This past Thursday downtown was the shittiest and most surprising yet.

Whatevers, today's outcome will be on the other side of the spectrum. See you tonight at White Room!

"My Beautiful Mommy" and Another Monday Night Past

2008-07-15T22:44:00.001-05:00

"A must-have for any mother with young children considering plastic surgery."

Only in America can we have plastic surgeons publish children's books in which the cosmetic plastic surgery process is defined, explained and made out to be an extremely nonchalant change. Is this a good thing or a bad thing? It seems as though that M.D. Michael Salzhauer is testing all of us. It seems mostly like a good idea to me. I mean, I can imagine it would be crazy-difficult to explain to little Susie how and why Mommy went up a cup and a half over a school day. Salzhauer uses the elementary cliché caterpillar-to-butterfly comparison from what I can tell by flipping through some of the pages digitally on the official website. The only thing that worries me is why wasn't Mommy beautiful from the start? That, and what the FUCK is going on with the illustrations? Dramatized and glamorized, much? Look at that woman's waistline! And she's surrounded by glittery-wooshy things. Of course. When I have my tatas done, I'll demand the surgical staff to wave sparklers around them...

I'd make this a much more ranty and long post, but I'm dead worn from the events (or lack thereof) of last night. In short, it was one of the best nights of music at Exposure @ White Room yet on top of DJ Blaqstarr MC/DJ-ing. And flirtatiously inviting me to Denny's and then Hotel Victor. Pictures, as always, can be found here and here.

I work mornings every goddamn day till Saturday (I think), so I'm probably not going to be partying too hard this week.* What I will definitely be doing?

Thursday, July 17th

Money$hot @ The Vagabond (click for flyer)

Free before 12am, $10 after

30 NE 14th St

Saturday, July 19th

Poplife's 9-Year Anniversary (!!!) @ White Room (click for flyer)

Tickets available for $15 online

1306 N. Miami Ave

I'm also going to be sharing my favorite song of the moment with you guys:

Time to Pretend - MGMT

* This is a lie.

Gameboy/Gamegirl at Poplife at White Room Review

2008-07-08T23:04:00.015-05:00

Another delayed post.

This past Saturday at Poplife, the Australian electro group Gameboy/Gamegirl was booked for a show. Honestly, I had never heard their stuff beforehand so I was feeling pretty accepting no matter what. The kids pretty much had a slightly more extreme-looking "I got this granny jacket at Goodwill for $3"-look in comparison to a lot of the people I see in the usual downtown scene (feel free to rank on me regarding "usual downtown scene" at any point if you were there and saw me wearing my American Apparel rouched tube dress).

The main room remained pretty empty for maybe the first half of a song or so, but soon quickly filled up. Quite honestly, the lot of their songs seemed like looped samples that they just Uffie-style sang-talked over. A technical difficulty, ripped pant leg and exposed-and-drawn-on-fatty-tummy later from them, a few beats were catchy in the end. Unfortunately for the most part I just leaned there against the booth and kept thinking about the time and cost of the flight from Australia to the 305 for this.

I had a chance to meet up and talk with them afterward and tell them that they did indeed act pretty enthusiastic on stage and that the performance itself was enjoyable. I promised an add on MySpace and proceeded to continue dancing with my peoples while Miami Horror's set (not to be mistaken for being from here, also originates from Down Under with GB/GG) was going. Which I enjoyed more that the main showcase.

And now still and motion media from my super sophisticated Canon point-and-shoot:

Gameboy/Gamegirl performing on stage at White Room

Here's some quick UMCB-suggested reading from my boo Duran down at the Miami New Times. Although it's not an after-show review (which you should keep checking back for), it definitely speaks another unmentioned facet of why I'm not too sure about GB/GG.

And for photography that actually clearly shows the show/my extended hipster family, you ought to keep on the New Times site and look at the slideshow or my favorite party pic site, The Popness Party.

A nice picture of Duran and I.Justin Namon/Miami New Times
P.S. As mentioned before, UMCB will be undegoing some changes in content. As of today, MAJOR changes. My tastes have changed as well as what I do on a daily basis. In example, compare this post to the Victoria's Secret PINK Rally at the Raleigh event coverage way earlier.

Happy Fourth!

2008-07-04T13:45:00.005-05:00

Sorry for the extreme lack of posts NOT having to do with my ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend. I'm going to start making myself update with a kind of schedule, like a review every Thursday, fashion news every Monday, etc. That'll probably make me stay on top of things.

Otherwise ladies (and gents?) I've been partying my brains out to the point where I wake up with a headache I don't care that much about every morning.

Oh and I pretty much just don't hang around South Beach anymore -- it's really just full of super-old rich douchebaggy foreign guys that want to take you back to their room at one of the trendy boutique hotels. You usually find me at the following clubs/lounges/bars: White Room, The "Vag" Vagabond and PS14. The scope is a little wider that that, but those are the places that are all within walking distance of each other. That, and I don't have to run around with what used to be a library card that has a bad picture of me and states that I am a black haired, brown eyed, 5'7" 21-year-old from Nevada.

Either way, enjoy yourselves today. Whatever you do, don't be lame and wear our nations colors/patterns unless you're going to be in a damn parade. My mom used to dress me like the flag when I was four. Here are some events going on tonight in the 305 just in case you have nothing to do. And they'll all be from the non-Downtown area as a bellyrub for me dissing stuff from the beach. It's mostly the Opium Group I'm hating on. C'mon, there's no excuse NOT to go out when you have two grand openings:

The Nikki Coconut Grove 4th of July Bash Dinner

(In the Sonesta Hotel Lobby)

Food and drink specials all day

2889 Mc Farlane Rd

RSVP: (786) 343-6238

Heathrow Lounge Grand Opening

Complimentary cocktails from 11 to 12:30

Feat DJs Ruen, Midas and Doormouse

681 Washington Ave

RSVP: E-mail heathrowlounge@aol.com w/ name, e-mail, number and D.O.B.

Official Grand Opening of DOLCE Ultralounge

Complimentary entry 'till 1 (must RSVP at above link)

Feat Stephen Luke, ESP, DJ Turk & David G.

1501 Collins Ave

Bottle RSVP: (305) 672-2221

Haha -- and if you don't feel like dressing up too much and just want to chill and do something that seems eh, we'll call it "interesting":

LOOP: Freedom Fries at PS14

Served fresh all night!

Matt Cash, Plot, Sharpsound, Sweet Dick Vega, Stravinsky, Quita and Aramis

28 NE 14th St

(No need to RSVP here!)

I'm sick today, so I'll see all of you for Poplife at White Room tomorrow (hopefully). Love you guys!

My Ex's Boyfriend.

2008-06-25T03:20:00.003-05:00

Just because I don't want their faces directly on here for me to have to throw up at every time I need to update... a classic ROFLCOPTER moment for the lot of us is here.

Goodbye Drama, Waking Up Too Early and Academics

2008-06-09T01:47:00.010-05:00

Hello new people, afternoon classes and 100% art-related curriculum. For those who didn't know, I will be heading to art school in Chicago come August. I'm going to miss Miami. Then again, I'll be flying back and forth quite often so no worries. Because my dangly-armed self will be FREEZING. I'm excited to see what I'm going to look like after losing the freshie fifteen (I will be without meal plan) and white (hibernation)! OMG MAGICAL HOLLYWOOD-STYLE TRANSFORMATION FAT TANNED GIRL TO ANA WHITE GIRL.

The last bits of high school -- let's see... prom sucked. Straight up sucked. Balls. Your prom would suck too if your ex-boyfriend was your old best friend's date. Your prom would suck too if yet another ex-boyfriend was there with a girl you didn't particularly love, henceforth making you feel awkward. But whatever. Thankfully the idea of PROM doesn't mean that much to me. Nyahhh, you only get one prom! Don't care. It's high school, you guys. The only real time when I need a man on my arm is my wedding day and lemme tell you, it ain't gonna be Adam Drewke. He wishes he could have a beautiful girl for a lover again. Can remind him that Miss Lix > Harry Potter? She must drive him around or something for him to like her so much. Ew, that makes me think about how much money I spent on that boy. And what would he buy me? The occasional coffee at Starbucks. Girls, don't spoil your shopping money on boys unless you really DO have that much money.

Ugh, people suck. Trust me.

... Actually, no. Don't trust anyone.

Graduation on the other hand was wonderful ( ...I got to throw the bird up in Adam's face on the way out)! The morning was exhilarating, just knowing that I would never have to see any of these people again. Or wake up at 5am to go through two hours of transit. I think I managed to still look super cute in that big ugly gown-thing and what I now like calling a flat-hat (graduation cap). My parents, grandparents and uncle were there to watch me in the ceremony and when it was through I walked out with a big dorky smile on my face and two giant bouquets of roses in my arms. After the ceremony we all went to Graziano's where I ate like a princess -- spinach gnocchi with almonds in a rich pesto and my favorite dessert of all time, tiramisu, for dessert. (This restaurant is amazing by the way, I highly recommend it to those who would like Argentinean/Italian fusion. They also have one of the best libraries of wine I've seen. It's a classy place, be prepared to spend at least $30, à la carte . Must have money in bank.)

Well that's all I'm chatting up tonight, kids. All in all, I can say that I've been sleeping with a smile on my face the past few days. It's late and a girl needs her beauty sleep to stay looking like this!

[ Non-existent graduation picture without a dork-face.]

EDITED! But wait! Pictures make people want to read things more. Ever notice that? So here is a random picture of me where I look fucking adorable (on the left).

Me and Cindy in what is now my old school.

P.S. Hey guys, I have money and I want to spend it. Suggest cool sites that you shop on (or wish you did). Especially ones with cute things for my apartment when I'm at school.

P.P.S. Poplife sucked for the first time this past Saturday!? Lots of grimy, oldddd guys and weird Hot Topic girls? Say what? The set being spun wasn't all that great either. Waste of my ten bucks. I could have bought a drink at The Vagabond with that gwop instead and chilled with the cute boy I had met before in an aforementioned blog entry. But but but I ended my night with Lackner of Miami Nights, which is pretty much just as good (if not better).

Poplife Lovin'

2008-05-25T21:36:00.006-05:00

Last night was crazy awesome. I saw so many friends last night that all the people I actually care about should have been there. There's only so many of you. So why weren't you there? I also met a cute boy named Mike that flails his arms when entering a crowd who lives in the 954. Funny guy. And if he's reading this he should call me to set up a date. ASAP QT!

Photo by thepopnessparty.blogspot.com

Haha, Steph and her Capris. Girly cigarettes rule. I'm going to buy a pack of Pink Dreams just to whip one out while in conversation and have people go, "OMG R THOSE PINK CIGZ?" And I'll say, "Yes."

Anyway, in case you're mad out of the loop, more info about Poplife parties is here and here.

P.S. Can I share my favorite track at the moment with you? Sooo fucking good.

Bust A Move (Don Rimini Ravekid Remix) - Young MC

Even More tokidoki

2008-05-23T08:53:00.006-05:00

So Onitsuka Tiger is hopping on the tokidoki bandwagon with brands like Smashbox Cosmetics and LeSportsac! I'm usually really anti-sneakers (and flats) but these are mad exciting. Check out the soles! They're on pre-sale right now and only run for a little over a hundred bucks from what I can remember. tokidoki needs a motto or something. Like: "tokidoki -- You know you fucking need more of it". And all the artist/fashion kids (me) would do a double-take at the display and be like, "ZOMG HOWD U KNO?!1?!!111" and whip out the plastic.

But yeah, these kicks are decenttt.

P.S. My prom is tonight! We about to get crunk up in this bitch named Miami. <3

Vincent Longo Wet Diamond Eyeshadow Quad

2008-05-22T07:23:00.008-05:00

On a spontaneous haul visit to Sephora I decided to do something different for once: Check out some of the brands that I've never bought from before. OMG I know, and you thought that I have tried everything. Well I haven't. But I have tried about 80% of the high-end brands out there (so if you need help deciding with someone just ask/read my reviews).

The Vincent Longo half of an aisle caught my eye. In lieu of Sephora's last fine art-themed catalogue, Longo had stuff that totally fit in. Mascaras in unconventional shades (primary yellow, blue, red, green, etc.) and the same colors in liquid liners. I poked around at these for a bit and ended up buying the Vibrant Eye Waterproof Mascara in Giallo (yellow) as well as a liner in a Crayola green, Vibrant Eye Waterproof Liner in Verdino. Oh yeah, and I could not fucking resist getting the Vincent Longo Wet Diamond Eyeshadow Quad ($40).

I mean come on, even the name is awesome. Wet Diamond. Anyway, this is the first time I've ever bought a palette that was meant to be used wet and dry.

Used dry, the high-tech pearl formulate doesn't really emulsify nicely on your brush. They colors come out tons lighter than they look in the palette. It's nice -- if you want something super subtle. Used wet these pigments are FAMAZING.

Before I go on, I know some of you may have never used a highly-pigmented eyeshadow wet before. All you have to do is get a damp piece of paper towel/facial tissue and dab your brush on it. Never hold the brush bristles directly under a running stream of water, it'll get it WAY too wet and may ruin the bristle arrangement of your brush if you let it dry retarded.

So after you've dabbed your damp brush into a color, these pigments are soooo pronounced you can see them from a mile away. These are pealescent, ultra-shimmery colors and are super blendable. They only being to somewhat crease after the school day (appoximately 8 hours of wear).

I highly, HIGHLY suggest the Wet Diamond Quads and give them a 5 out of 5 stars!

Just In Case You Were Unaware

2008-05-18T00:15:00.003-05:00

Tokidoki is one of the cutest new artist brands out there and makes things so cute that you pee yourself. Observe. Silver bullet with a face. EVERYTHING is better with a face. Omgomgomgcute.

Explore Your Inner Bitch

2008-05-07T17:27:00.007-05:00

Dear loyal UMCB readers and haters (big up),

Only few of us have the ability to be a complete bitch -- most of us are able to release some kind of temporary bitchiness. Then there are those that are just straight up pussies and walk away or hide their face when conflicted. I find it hard to classify myself sometimes -- but I'm definitely not the latter unless the situation is incredibly dire and I know there is nothing I can do about it.

The verb "to bitch" usually has a negative connotation. It does. It has no positive connotation that I know of. People (men and women alike) only bitch when something is wrong. My definition of this is to verbally go off on someone. You mouth off, cuss, spit witty comments, scream and talk mad shit. Most adults and pretentious psuedo-intellectuals will tell you crap like, "There are better ways to deal with it" and "Don't stoop to their level". That's all dandy and good if your opponent(s) are obviously on a "low stoop", but what if they think that they're higher than you, off your so-called stoop of morals and are chilling out on your porch leaning against your front door? Ignoring that what they're on is YOUR territory?

Fuck that.

You take your time to convince yourself not to beat the shit out of them when you talk to them next and exercise the goddamn First Amendment and/or whatever constitutes freedom of speech in your country. If you do it well, not only will you feel slightly (results vary) more empowered, you'll get a nice little endorphin rush too. Oh yeah, and you will have most likely pushed that slut/bitch/bastard/asshole/douche back down to the bottom step of the stoop they Smeegle-crawled from.

P.S. I got that necklace I was talking about a while ago. Check it:

The hottest girls at White Room

Shitty Blog, I Know.

2008-04-14T20:02:00.007-05:00

Yeah, so I didn't update for a long time mostly because I just kind of think that no one reads this. I may as well be talking to a wall. I think. But I wouldn't know now would I 'cause no one leaves comments. Ugh. You guys. Come on.

WMC is long gone in the world of Clubland. Should I bother to talk about my personal experience? Let's just say it was wild. Like most Lix-nights. Amazingly fun. Bad-ass music (I cannot emphasize that enough!), all my coolest party people and just a raw fucking environment overall. I'm still really annoyed that Digitalism didn't get to go on at Ultra though. It's things like WMC that make me appreciate Miami even more than I already do.

Meanwhile, I've gone completely broke and am looking for a (new) job since the one I currently have isn't really making the bank. Any suggestions? I don't want anything to do with food. Ugh, gross. Plus I had enough ass-kissing food service for picky, mean people at Starbucks already kthx.

I just bought a trendy ass "Coco Chanel is Dead"-themed necklace. Except mine is gonna be black unlike the one in the picture. Again, pushing my monetary limits with my entry-level mall job. Check it.

Image from laniebeth.etsy.com

I also got a haul from Sephora (to be later described and perhaps reviewed) to relieve bad tension that was onset in my head on Saturday at my senior gallery showing. I hate people that bring out my inner bitch when it needs to rest.

Lazy

2008-04-02T22:25:00.003-05:00

YES, I know I haven't updated in a long time.

NO, I don't have my energy 100% back to rant and rave about WMC. It's not over yet for me. I fell asleep at the fucking gym yesterday.

I'm broke (-$370something).

Leave me alone.

Going back to the couch now.

P.S. Favorite track as of recent available for download here. Yeah, I know MSTRKRFT has been getting played the hell out recently but I still love those guys.

Spiderpussy WMC '08 3/25

2008-03-27T21:23:00.007-05:00

Fine guys, I admit it. I'm normally into all that high-class shit. The clubs and lounges on the beach are usually what I hang around. The rich kids and Eurotrash tourist boys that compliment me on my 'exoticness' (as if I were a car) and pronounce my name Mizz Lecks. Or Liz or Legz, even. Mmmm Eurotrash boys.

But! I took the time out on Tuesday night to head to PS14 for a Spiderpussy WMC party with Stephy, my wonderful beautifully overly-opinionated friend that reminds me of myself. Now, I've been to PS14 before and I told myself it sucked and that I'm so much more of a Washington Ave. kind of bitch. Admittedly no matter WHAT day I'll ever go to PS14 I'll feel kind of strange. The crowd seemed to mostly radiate people with awkward extension-mullets, guys with jeans that outline their packages and girls that Dov Charney would pay to stand in revealing positions wearing (only) purple lamé leggings. Not my crowd. They seemed less hostile and lacked the beach douchebagery that I'm familiar with though, so it all evened out. Except I felt stupidly overdressed in a short black jumper dress and plaid-printed (they're not tacky, STFU) Hilfiger platforms. Not my Louboutins, not pumps, not stilettos -- platforms.

Music-wise it was BAD. ASS. Imagine my fatass standing on top of my desk with a science project board with those words on it really big. BAD. ASS. Really danceable stuff with bass that you feel in your stomach. Some of those androgens are milking the good electronica more than I am, damnit! See the full list of the guys (and girls!) here. This list includes Dalton, who I spent time with chilling for the most of the time.

ULTRA IS TOMORROW. OMGOMGOMG.

M.A.C Heatherette Collection is HERE!

2008-03-21T18:27:00.002-05:00

Omg omg omg omg.

The colors are great and the compacts and packaging is pure eye candy. I'll be heading off to the Pro store this weekend to get my share of this stuff before it sells out. Check MACcosmetics.com for all the swatches. I love Richie Rich and his fabulousness.

As a matter of fact, they'll be having a show during Funkshion. They'll be in the tents on 11th and Ocean on Saturday the 29th (Oh no, the same day as Ultra! Ugh).

P.S. Eat this, Fafi! I don't know what the hell they were thinking when they thought those dolls were cute. Fuckin' horrifying. They look like Bratz on crack.

A GLOBAL Thank You and Upcoming Events!

2008-03-19T22:35:00.003-05:00

This will be the official UMCB 100-hits mark entry! According to statistics, I've had readers from the U.S, France, Singapore, Australia, Canada, Switzerland and Italy. I've gotta admit that's pretty cool. I've gone global bitches! Watch outtt.

Yeah, I know it's not that big of a deal compared to a million or whatever the hell, but you guys ~~can~~ will tell your friends.

I get monthly e-mails from TicketMaster in order to keep up with good shows and things and I found some dates that you may be interested in (if you're anything like me).

Kanye West's Glow in the Dark Tour

Ladytron

Margaret Cho

Jeffree Star*

Disney on Ice Princess Wishes

Oh yeah and of course...

Ultra Music Festival*

* Only in the 3-0-5

The Rally Photos, FINALLY.

2008-03-15T18:50:00.006-05:00

So yes! The PINK Rally at the Raleigh was pretty cool. Pretty people, pretty brand, pretty boys. Yeah that's right, boys. At first I was like, why would guys want to be around all this PINK, girly-stuff? Then I realized what guy WOULDN'T want to be where all these hott spring breaker girls are in Miami? I counted at least five sporting their pink Lacoste, obviously. Looking goood.

Ehem. Aside from the beautiful people from Miami and abroad, there were cool celebs like Brody Jenner (The Hills hottie), Vanessa Mannillo (the MTV/Maxim Hottie) and Miranda Kerr (the Aussie Angel hottie). You really do feel like a fatass when you see models in person. Christ. Ms. Kerr almost made me want to flush my modeling endevor down the shitter just by merely looking at her. Oh yeah, DJ Irie was there too. But he's not hott.

The hotel this this was hosted at for the second year in a row, The Raleigh, is on 17th and Collins Avenue on the Beach. Wonderfully upscale place to stay here if you've got the $$$. The back area was huge -- large size patio, giant pool, and a sandy part with upholstered couches, tables, and a volleyball net. Victoria's Secret had EVERYTHING PINK-afied, from pins on the pillows on the couches, to the giant dog on the diving board, to the volleyball net. It was like a fantasy playland for rich bitches. And upper-middle class bitches!

The Raleigh

DJ Irie and Vanessa Mannillo

Brody Jenner and DJ Irie

Miranda Kerr (holding the microphone)

Love you guys,
UMCB

AHH

2008-03-13T22:02:00.001-05:00

I have not slept in 31 hours, you guys. I have pictures from the PINK Rally at the Raleigh. I'll go online tomorrow and edit this post so I can show you what you missed. It was super fun.

Night!

Spring Breakin' It Already!

2008-03-11T22:17:00.007-05:00

I suck at updating super often. But that's okay.

Tomorrow I will be looking hot as usual at Victoria's Secrets' PINK Rally at the Raleigh Hotel here on Miami Beach. MIRANDA KERR (the prettiest of all the angels!) will be there. Good enough for me. I had to gather my PINK-wear tonight as it's required you wear some of the brand for extra goodies and camera lovin'. My camera's busted, but I'll be sure to have my BFF Whitney take majabillions of pictures for me so I can share and make you jealous.

Here are some media clippings from last year's PINKtastic spring break bash:

Again, be jealous. You will be in school. Or maybe you'll be awesome, play hookie, and meet me there! Or maybe you're in college and don't even have to worry about it 'cause you're spring breaking where I live 24/7 (insert sneer here).

P.S. I don't know how long this has been published, but it's a great resource for some of the most kickass beauty products out there: 2008 CEW Beauty Awards Finalists. Also The Best of Sephora 2007. I have these two sites favorited under my 'Reference' tab in Safari. Next to dictionary.com and WSVN.

P.P.S. Clear your history after if you read this on a school computer please. I don't need everyone knowing what I'm doing out of class. Pft.

IIII Wantttt...

2008-03-07T18:36:00.002-06:00

Okay, so most of my friends know this one of my many catch-phrases:
"Everything's better with a face."

No really! Draw a smiley face on your stapler. Isn't it 10,000 times better now?! AUGHH CUTENESSSS.

Yeah, yeah -- it doesn't scream "UPPERCLASSBITCH!", but I definitely have a soft spot for quirky-looking totes in my closet next to Fendi clutch.

Funny Face Tote Bag

Lady Luck Rules OK

Ridonkulous Model Standards? Maybe Not?

2008-03-06T22:58:00.000-06:00

On Tuesday morning in Paris, as the fashion elite were gathering at the Balenciaga show, 17-year-old model Ali Michael was heading home to the U.S. far earlier than anticipated.

Miss Michael was last season's model du jour, and she looks wraithlike, with a still-developing body and a 23-inch waist. But this season, after gaining five pounds, Miss Michael was told by casting directors for the runway shows that her legs were too plump, according to her mother, Mary Ann Michael, who travels with her daughter to appointments and shows. And so, after doing a string of major supermodel shows in September, Miss Michael snared only the Yohji Yamamoto show in Paris this time around. After walking the runway, her eyes blackened with corpse-like makeup, she said she was sad to be leaving but grateful to Mr. Yamamoto. "This show is special," she added.

Nobody here has been talking about last year's skinny-model cause célèbre, when a few fashion-industry leaders in Milan and Madrid began talking about instituting body-mass-index requirements after the starvation deaths of several models. This year, the models are just as thin -- if anything, they look thinner. This was particularly visible in Paris, which sets modes for clothes and fashion shows around the world.

-- Christina Binkley for The Wall Street Journal (full article)

Ali is the one standing on the left. The girl crouching, Lily Donaldson, gets to keep her job. Fine with me.

As I said in the last post, I'm on the fence about this whole stick-thin model thing. I do think it probably is sending a horrible message to girls around the world watching this stuff. Shit, I'm pretty sure it affected me. I can't find how much the girl weighs, but being 5'9" and having a 23" waist sounds like a super low BMI and extreme underweight conditions to me. Although I understand that some girls are just 'born skinny' and have petite frames, no girl should have to watch her weight so carefully down to five pounds in order to make money and follow their dream. There will always be weight shittiness in the media, unfortunately. If you ask me, watching a show in Paris is just as unhealthy for you as eating McDonald's. Obesity is the bigger problem (yes, pun intended) here in the U.S. Everyone went off on Lagerfeld's apathy toward itty bitty models when he shrugged and said that "France has problems with a rise in overweight people rather than underweight".

For those of you who think that 'normal' girls should be modeling Gaultier's Spring/Summer RTW, you guys also have to understand that models are used to display the clothing, not themselves. Meaning it's more effective for the designer to use scrawny girls rather than girls with thick thighs or big boobs that would serve as a gigantic fucking distraction bouncing and jiggling around on the runway. I mean, the AMA (Association of Model Agents) suggest the measurements 34-24-34. Plus, smaller model = less fabric = lower cost.

Heroin chic is back and there's not much we can do about it. I'm sure Madrid's lawmakers cried themselves to sleep after this story.

I'm bad.

2008-03-05T23:11:00.005-06:00

So yeah, this won't be daily. Mostly because I just forget to update, or don't really have much to say at the moment.

... OK, that was complete bullshit. I always have something to say. I'm just lazy-slash-busy-with-other-things. I promise to try harder, but only if I get some response.

What I do want to know is what everyone is interested in the most out of the things I'm willing to blab about. If you could vote on the new poll to the right, that'd help me tons tons tons. See that? Three tons. That's like a fucking elephant or something (I'll wait for someone to comment and correct me on the actual weight of an elephant).

As for the last poll, most of you said that models should be 'healthy skinny' because stick-thin girls are a bad influence and send a negative message about body image to young girls. I'm on the fence about this subject, truthfully. Reasons for my being indecisive and an article that will shock and disgust you that feel this way tomorrow!

Love you pretties!

Too Faced Lash Injection

2008-03-03T20:51:00.005-06:00

Hey, it's my first postttt! Watch for more to come -- hopefully daily.

So yesterday I went on a Sephora escapade at Dadeland Mall with friends specifically to buy another i.d. bareMinerals foundation (seriously one of the best foundations evar, I'll write a review on that some other time). But of course, Sephora being a fucking candystore of shimmery, highly pigmented, glossy goodness... I get caught up in looking at everything else. I think about buying a new tube of Diorshow Blackout, but decide to try a new mascara on a whim because I've been using that stuff for about four years straight. My ethnicity includes Chinese, meaning I have itty-bitty ass stick eyelashes. They're pretty much invisible if I let my lashes go nekkid. Diorshow would make it look like I was wearing thick, dragqueen-like falsies. Think Twiggy times thirty. My lashes would hit my browbone if I looked up. But this review isn't about Diorshow.

I went and bought Too Faced Lash Injection ($19.50). Mostly because of the extreme-sounding name. Injection. Intense-sounding, right? Wrong. Lash Injection's tube claims that it is 'Extreme Thickening & Lengthening' mascara, but it did very little for me. It added slight length at most. No thickening whatsoever. It does seperate all lashes nice and has large barrel-type brush which makes for quicker application, I guess. What's worse is that it was HELL to get off! The box says that the formula comes off in 'tiny tubes' (as in it wraps around each individual lash?) and they weren't lying! I used three uses worth of my Almay eye makeup remover pads and my fingernails to get this completely off.

This 'extreme'-ly misleading mascara gets a mere 2 out of 5 stars.

uppermiddleclassbitch.

WTF A Podcast?

Red Red WIIIINE

M.A.C. Hello Kitty Collection Now On Sale!

Irrelevant But Hilarious

Paris Already Totally Over Her 'New BFF'

OMFG.

Suggested NYE Parties

Steve Aoki in Miami

Oh Shit

Moving Again

Happy Birthday, Veronica!

Update

Lix Says Happy Thanksgiving!

I Know What I'm Thankful For.

REMEMBER POP-UP VIDEO!?

All We Do Is Party (ah-ah-ah-ahh)!

Matt & Kim in Chicago

This is it, you guys.

PLEASE Vote Tomorrow.

Currently In Miami

Exposure Tonight @ White Room

Pictures From Last Night

Spin the Vote Tonight!

NARS Releases 2 New Sexy Kits

Chicago's Street System Explained

YELLE'S American Tour!

Interview with The Fire and Reason's Bella Saona!

Sign Up For The Chicago UMCB Mailing List!

Sign Up For The Miami UMCB Mailing List!

I am, You are, We are Uncle Karl.

The Most Important Holiday of All!

Fucking A

Eek! Mini-Hiatus!

Reminder!

I'm going to cry in the airport...

eXposure Tonight @ White Room with DJ Scottie B!

An Awesome New Friday Party!

FINALLY Murk'd Pics and Shit to Do This Weekend!

Umm...

TGIS! The Week In Review..

Lose Five Pounds In Five Days: The Club Junkie's Way

Irritable Line Syndrome

Suggested Reading

"My Beautiful Mommy" and Another Monday Night Past

Gameboy/Gamegirl at Poplife at White Room Review

Happy Fourth!

My Ex's Boyfriend.

Goodbye Drama, Waking Up Too Early and Academics

Poplife Lovin'

Even More tokidoki

Vincent Longo Wet Diamond Eyeshadow Quad

Just In Case You Were Unaware

Explore Your Inner Bitch

Shitty Blog, I Know.

Lazy

Spiderpussy WMC '08 3/25

M.A.C Heatherette Collection is HERE!

A GLOBAL Thank You and Upcoming Events!

The Rally Photos, FINALLY.

AHH

Spring Breakin' It Already!

IIII Wantttt...

Ridonkulous Model Standards? Maybe Not?

I'm bad.

Too Faced Lash Injection